Justin Bieber cut off his locks and posted an instagram photo "soooooo hungover," May 1, 2016.
But you can be sure this is merely a temporary staging post for the Bieber locks—because even as he has courted notoriety by behaving at times like a spoiled idiot, Bieber’s hair has continued its own life and transformations. There is Bieber the pop star, Bieber the brat, and Bieber the head of hair.
via Instagram
Justin Bieber's new terrible hairdo? Dreads. He posted his fresh locks to Instagram captioned only with "Why." Why indeed, Biebs. Why.
GQ said Justin Bieber’s new haircut made him look like My Little Pony—and yes, the silver and lavender combination did give this doll-like pop star even more of a doll-like quality. He debuted this new ’do on Instagram, and then in subsequent posts, wore a cap over whatever had sprouted on top of his head.
For all those who think Bieber—in the nicest, most complimentary way—is the prettiest lesbian a man could ever be, this is the archetypal Bieber as boy-dyke pose: It’s 2010, Bieber is in the first flush of fame, and his hair is a modish helmet, cloaked to the side of his head like a protective pelt. He is psyching himself up for his own pop-cultural epic, his own chart-conquering Revenant, if you will.
Lucas Jackson/Reuters
Bieber at the Brits in 2011. There has been hair evolution: The pelt no longer looks wispy. Bieber is now wearing his hair as armor. This hair is tight. This hair knows what it wants and where it wants to go. The hair is most definitely not ready to be chopped and dyed pink. Yet.
Ian Gavan/Getty Images
The Bieber hair eventually lifted to reveal a forehead, and Bieber continued his brave assault on setting sexy lesbian hair trends with this perky 2011 tufty ’do.
Brendan McDermid/Reuters
Bieber and Selena Gomez at the 2011 Vanity Fair Oscar party. The pictures of them together were weird. She is gorgeous, and yet he is prettier than she. His hair here is on its best bubblegum, teen idol behavior, yet to intimate mischief of any kind.
Danny Moloshok/Reuters
The transformation of Bieber into a bad boy meant a time of audacious follicular transformation. Gone forever were the wispy brush-forwards. Gone forever was the tufty cuteness. Next we went into the territory of head-shaving, and severe quiffs swept dramatically up and to the side, here in Dubai in 2013.
Jumana El-Heloueh/Reuters
Any good pop star knows that the inevitable mug shot, when you’ve been bad and the cops have taken you down to the station, means the ultimate hair emergency. It must look real, but not really styled, as this is a deeply real moment for you. But hey, these images could become even better-known than your damn underwear shots. Here the Biebs—at this point, a deeply annoying, misbehaving rich kid—styles out the Miami-Dade Corrections and Rehabilitation Department in 2014 as best he can, after being arrested on a drunk-driving charge. He had been caught drag racing in a rented yellow Lamborghini sports car, the police said. Note the hair, while a bit frenzied and whipped up, still frames the Biebs’ face perfectly. His smile seems to suggest he takes none of this seriously (quelle brat!), and the side profile shows what a good barber he has.
Miami-Dade Corrections and Rehabilitation Department, via Reuters
And another mug shot from the same period. This one’s more fashion-y: black hoodie, a pose straight out of an ’80s style magazine. Did he have a team of stylists with him at the police station?
Miami Beach Police Dept, via Reuters
At his “roast” in March last year, Bieber wanted to look grown up, like an artist, dammit. Like he was in on the joke and a big boy. So a smart suit also came with luxuriantly long, adult hair, gelled and combed down for a fevered night’s self-satirizing.
Michael Tran/FilmMagic/Getty Images
Last year, until a fresh wave of hair madness broke out, Bieber seemed to be going for a pretty solid, teen-idol-grows-up look of short on the sides, longer on top. Lots of head-ducking, like Princess Diana, as at this musical event hosted by Calvin Klein Jeans in Hong Kong in June 2015.
Bobby Yip/Reuters
Well, we spoke too soon, because shortly thereafter, he was channeling this mesmerizingly weird scarecrow side-’do look at the 2015 MTV Video Music Awards. The stringy, wispy, split-ends thing has been a constant ever since.
Danny Moloshok/Reuters
This boy loves his bleach, as this September 2015 picture shows.
D Dipasupil/Getty Images
This attempt to retrieve the glory days of the piled-high quiff is enough to make a Bieber hair fan weep. In this November 2015 picture, he looks older. He is older, and the hair cannot rise properly. That hair is crying. We are definitely crying. The Bieber quiff can no longer be attained. Tragedy!
Eric Gaillard/Reuters
