CAN’T NOBODY TELL ME NOTHING

Kim Jong Un Casually Rides Magnificent White Horse Up a Sacred Mountain for Absurd Photo-Op

State news said the dictator had “great moments of his thinking” while riding his steed up the spiritual homeland of the Kim dynasty.

Kim Jong Un rode a resplendent white horse up a sacred mountain and, luckily, state propaganda photographers happened to be there to capture it all on camera. In a series of photographs that look like the North Korean dictator is auditioning for the role of the Elf maiden Arwen in The Lord of the Rings, Kim is seen riding an enormous horse through snowy fields and woods on Mount Paektu, which is the spiritual homeland of the Kim dynasty. “His march on horseback in Mt. Paektu is a great event of weighty importance in the history of the Korean revolution,” the KCNA agency said in its poetic statement. “Having witnessed the great moments of his thinking atop Mt. Paektu, all the officials accompanying him were convinced with overflowing emotion and joy that there will be a great operation to strike the world with wonder again and make a step forward in the Korean revolution.” It’s not known what the “great operation” will be, but hopefully it will be announced with another spectacular photo-op.