MELTDOWN

Kimmel Disses Own Network

It might be funny, but it can't be a good career move. Speaking before ABC's advertisers at a presentation of the network's new fall lineup of shows, Jimmy Kimmel launched into a devastating monologue that walked the line between a roasting of his bosses and professional suicide. Kimmel said that 90 percent of ABC's new shows would be canceled, and that the network has made a habit of lying to its advertisers. The late night host then told the advertisers in attendance that they "needed therapy" for "coming back for more" every season. Kimmel also took shots at other networks, saving his best zinger for Fox's show 24. He said that in the upcoming episodes "Jack Bauer would have a new sidekick 'played by Kiefer Sutherland's probation officer.'"