Stephen Colbert opened his second live show of the week by addressing the big controversy to come out of the Republican National Convention’s first night. As Colbert soberly told his viewers: Melania Trump has been accused of plagiarizing portions of a speech First Lady Michelle Obama gave at the 2008 Democratic National Convention.
Fortunately, the host revealed that he had secured the “first exclusive appearance” by Melania Trump so she could explain what happened. With that, out walked a woman in a white dress who looked and sounded remarkably like Donald Trump’s third wife—but was actually Tony Award-winning actress Laura Benanti.
Asked if the statement she was about to read was written by the same staffers who penned her convention speech, she replied, “Yes, I wrote it.”
“My fellow Americans,” she said, striking a dramatic pose. “This is truly the best of times. It is the worst of times.”
“I did not plagiarize my speech last night. I would never do such a thing,” she continued. “I could not, would not with a goat. I would not, could not on a boat. That is because I learned honesty during my humble upbringing in West Philadelphia, born and raised, and on the playground is where I spent most of my days.”
From there, Melania quoted everything from the Kit Kat bar jingle and Braveheart to Network and the McDonald’s slogan. “Oh, and one more thing,” she added. “Live from New York, it’s Saturday night!” Before she could finish that last line, Colbert stopped her and went on with the rest of his show.