PARTY POOPER

Martin Amis Attacks Royal Wedding

Calls entire family "philistines"

It doesn't come as a shock that Martin Amis, the enfant terrible of British literature, is taking aim at the royal wedding. The author of bestsellers such as London Fields and Money has openly attacked the upcoming wedding in an edition of the French magazine, Le Nouvel Observateur. "One can't, in the era of media supremacy, make one's children go through everything which a wedding like this entails: not only the loss of one's private life; but also the sacrifice of oneself pure and simple," he wrote. He also called the royal family "philistines" and sneered at the family's traditions. He even took out after the queen, saying she "never listens" to what people say to her. As for Prince Charles, he's "charming" with an "extraordinary laugh like a pig's snore." Though the queen knighted his father Kingsley Amis, Martin has said he wouldn't accept the honor and that he doesn't want "any link with the British Empire." Soon, there will be a whole book about Amis' opinions on the United Kingdom's moral decay, which is currently in the works and subtitled The State of England.