Hi, Miss Piggy. I had a crush on you when I was a little boy.
That’s natural. So many have a crush on moi.
Do you get hit on a lot?
All the time. But I hit back. You get a karate chop.
Miss Piggy, how does it feel to be back in show business?
Well, moi never really went away, but it has been a long time since I graced the silver screen, and I want to make an apology to all of moi’s fans. I don’t know why I’ve denied my fans for long.
This movie explains your absence, but can you fill us in on what happened? You went away to Paris to edit French Vogue?
In the story in the movie, moi plays an editor for a fashion magazine, but moi comes to Kermie and helps him save all of the Muppets and their theater from certain ruin.
So you aren’t really a fashion editor? You’re just playing one?
That’s the role moi plays in the movie. You see, movies aren’t real, they are fiction.
I had no idea movies aren’t real. How long have you and Kermit been together?
We’re still going on our first date. Ever since we first laid eyes on one another, we’ve been madly in love.
Do you remember that first moment?
Of course I do. Moi was in A Chorus Line, and Kermie was conducting, and moi just stepped to the front, into the spotlight, so he could see me better, and then we’ve been in the spotlight together ever since.
Is he the first frog you’ve ever dated?
Yes, he is. And he will be the last frog.
Are you waiting for him to pop the question?
Actually, I’m waiting for him to answer me.
He’s not answering you?
Well, not in the right way.
Are you a big texter, Miss Piggy?
Yes. I love to text. I love to tweet. I love to blog.
Do you have an iPhone?
I do. Mine is called a moiPhone. It’s the same thing as an iPhone, but I put my picture all over it.
Where do you live?
Right now I’m living in Hollywood. I’m more West Coast. And Kermie, he’s more East Coast. He likes the swamp. I don’t prefer that.
How did you learn how to play a fashion editor?
Jason Segel, who wrote the script, was very much inspired by moi’s fashion sense and how moi has always been an icon in the fashion world. He thought it would be a natural fit for moi to play a fashion editor.
Did you do any research?
I had to shop a lot, for clothes, on the production’s dime.
Where do you shop?
I love Fifth Avenue and Rodeo Drive. All of my fashion-designer friends made outfits for me for my movie, including Christian Louboutin and Zac Posen, so I get a lot of freebies in the mail. It’s true. The girl loves to shop.
Did you meet Anna Wintour?
No, I didn’t do that. Pretty much all the research I did for playing an Anna Wintour type was, I went shopping for a bobbed wig.
You don’t even do a British accent. You speak Piggy.
When people go to a movie to see moi, they want to see moi. They don’t want to see somebody else. So I play the character of Miss Piggy as close to the real moi as possible.
I read somewhere that you grew up in Iowa.
I grew up on a farm. I don’t like to talk about that, because it’s the past.
Are you political?
Do you vote?
I might if I were allowed. Unfortunately, pigs are not allowed to vote. They are allowed to run—but they are not allowed to vote.
Have you ever met Ernie and Bert?
Do you think the rumors about them are true?
That they are puppets?
No, not that rumor.
I don’t think they are puppets at all.