Supermodel Gisele Bündchen revealed her previous struggles with panic attacks and suicidal thoughts in her new memoir, People magazine reports. The 38-year-old model’s book, Lessons: My Path to a Meaningful Life, describes how she had a panic attack on a bumpy flight in 2003 and subsequently feared “tunnels, elevators and other enclosed spaces.” “I felt powerless. Your world becomes smaller and smaller, and you can’t breathe, which is the worst feeling I’ve ever had,” she said. Bündchen also disclosed that she contemplated suicide. “I actually had the feeling of, ‘If I just jump off my balcony, this is going to end, and I never have to worry about this feeling of my world closing in,’” she said. The supermodel consulted with specialists who gave her a Xanax prescription, but she ultimately decided to make life changes—like turning to yoga and cutting out sugar. “I felt like maybe it was time to share some of my vulnerabilities, and it made me realize, everything I’ve lived through, I would never change, because I think I am who I am because of those experiences,” Bündchen told the magazine.