STORM BULLETIN

New Jersey Issues Terrifying Warning

Reminds residents of their possibly imminent deaths.

And don't you fuggetaboutit. In a New Jersey weather service bulletin issued Sunday ahead of Hurricane Sandy, officials used some unusual language to try to convince those at risk to evacuate: "If you are reluctant ... think about the rescue/recovery teams who will rescue you if you are injured or recover your remains if you do not survive," the bulletin read. Meanwhile Sunday, President Obama declared New York and Washington D.C. in a state of emergency, as he and Romney both canceled campaign trail events due to the storm. As New York City begins to shut down all buses and trains, Washington D.C.—which has a flood warning—also announced it would shut all Metro service for Monday.