While Newt Gingrich’s daughters denied their father ever asked for an “open marriage,” his ex-wife Marianne (who is not their mother) claimed in a Nightline interview that Newt once asked if she would share him with his then-mistress, Callista, when Marianne discovered their six-year affair. “I said to him, ‘we’ve been married a long time,’ and he said to me ‘you want me all to yourself, Callista doesn’t care what I do,’” Marianne Gingrich said. “He was asking me for an open marriage, and I refused.” Marianne and Newt divorced following the revelation, and Newt went on to marry Callista—and he converted to Catholicism as well. At a debate in Iowa, Newt acknowledged his past affair, saying “I’ve said upfront that I’ve made mistakes at times. I’ve had to go to God for forgiveness.”
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He may be having a very public meltdown, but privately Charlie Sheen appears to be living the Big Love dream. The 45-year-old actor, who has been married three times, now shares his home with his "Goddesses"—Natalie "Natty" Kenly and Rachel Oberlin, aka Bree Olson. "Our bed is big enough for all three of us, and we take turns sleeping in the middle," Kenly told the New York Post of their sleeping arrangements. Asked whether they all have sex together, Oberlin added: "We do whatever Charlie wants us to do. This is the type of lifestyle I've always wanted, and I'm thrilled with it."
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Charlie Sheen's maison à trois clearly draws its inspiration from the man who pioneered the playboy lifestyle, Hugh Hefner. Hef's Playboy Mansion was always filled with women from his magazine, but when he married Playmate of the Year Kimberley Conrad in 1990 and had two children, his home became considerably more family-friendly. But following his divorce in 1998, Hef reminded the world he still had his mojo and began dating seven women at once. Then, in 2005, Hefner opened the doors of the Mansion to reality TV and chronicled his relationship with three women—Holly Madison, Kendra Wilkinson, and Bridget Marquardt—on The Girls Next Door. And when those relationships ended three years later, Hef tried 20-year-old identical twins before settling down with girlfriend Crystal Harris. The 84-year-old Hefner and the 24-year-old Harris are set to be married on June 18. In lieu of gifts, send Viagra.
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Among the many otherworldly aspects of Tilda Swinton's life is her unique living arrangement. The 50-year-old Oscar-winning actress has had a relationship with Scottish artist John Byrne, 71, for more than a decade, and they are parents to 12-year-old twins. But since 2004, Swinton has also been seeing 31-year-old German-born artist Sandro Kopp—with Byrne's blessing. "What is true is that John and I live here with our children and Sandro is sometimes here with us, and we travel the world together. We are all a family," she told The Daily Mail in 2008 Byrne, who has a girlfriend of his own, put it this way: "I've been painted as a benign eccentric who's living there while some guy's shagging his sweetheart. Why would I do that? Let me put the record straight. No way is it a ménage à trois. Neither of us would have had any truck with anything remotely like that. People would like to think that wouldn't they? Bizarre."
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The question has baffled feminists, philosophers, and scholars for decades: How could Simone de Beauvoir, author of The Second Sex and godmother of the women's movement, have had a polyamorous relationship with Jean-Paul Sartre for 51 years? It probably helped to be French. "What we have," Sartre said early on in their relationship, "is an essential love; but it is a good idea for us also to experience contingent love affairs." And they did—though hardly equally. Sartre had many more liaisons than Beauvoir, and her jealousy is evident in her letters and fiction. But she was an existentialist to the end: "Our relationship is the greatest achievement in my life," she claimed.
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NBA players aren't exactly known for their monastic lifestyles, but in the case of Utah Jazz forward Andrei Kirilenko, his wife does what comes naturally for him—she gives him a pass. In a 2006 ESPN The Magazine article, Masha Lopatova, a former Russian pop star, admitted that she allows her husband to have sex with another woman one night a year. "When this article comes out, girls will be lining up outside his hotel door," she told the magazine. "When I'm aware and I let him do it, it's not cheating." ESPN personality Tony Kornheiser naturally applauded the yearly allowance: "She is a top-five wife, all-time."
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Ever since Will Smith gave an interview in 2008 to Britain's Now magazine, he has been dogged by reports that his longtime marriage to Jada Pinkett is an open one. But it's easy to understand why people think it. As Smith told Now: "Our perspective is, you don't avoid what's natural and you're going to be attracted to people… If it came down to it, then one would say to the other: ‘Look, I need to have sex with somebody. Now I'm not going to do it if you don't approve of it.' In our marriage vows, we didn't say ‘forsaking all others.'" In 2009, however, Pinkett appeared to reject the idea, telling NPR: "If I say to you I don't have an open marriage, no, we're not gay. You know, then—and you don't trust that, well, there's nothing that we, that I, really have to say to anybody about anything because at the end of the day, I'm living my life and I'm happy."
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That legendary cartoonist Robert Crumb would have a loose concept of fidelity would be apparent to anyone who has ever seen one of his louche comic-book characters. The artist and his wife, Aline, live in a small village in the south of France— bien sur—and have long been open about their open marriage. In 2007, the couple talked to The New York Times about life in Crumbland: Robert has an old girlfriend he visits once a year in Oregon, and Aline is involved with a man she described as her "second husband." "If she ever started making comparisons about our lovemaking technique," R. Crumb told the paper, "I might get jealous."
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Though Edna St. Vincent Millay had many female lovers throughout her life, she was married to Eugen Boissevain for 26 years. The poet, who often wrote about fidelity and the need for sexual freedom, had many affairs throughout their marriage—as did Boissevain—most notably with the poet George Dillon, who was 14 years younger. Her Bohemian ethos is best summed up, naturally, in her verse: "My candle burns at both ends; / It will not last the night; / But, ah, my foes, and, oh, my friends— / It gives a lovely light."
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During The Barbara Walters Special before the 2010 Academy Awards, Precious star Mo'Nique revealed that she and her husband have an open marriage. "Could Sid have sex outside of his marriage with me? Yes. That's not a deal-breaker," she told Walters. "That's not something that would make us say, ‘Pack your things and let's end the marriage.' We've been best friends for over 25 years, and we truly know who we are. Oftentimes, people get into marriages and they don't know who they're laying next to. I'm very comfortable and secure with my husband." And when Walters asked what makes Sid stay, Mo'Nique had the perfect answer: "He loves the hairy legs," she said. "And if Sid likes the hairy legs, there you go... I'm 42 and very hairy."
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Had Facebook existed during Pablo Picasso's lifetime, his relationship status would have undoubtedly been: "It's complicated." Though the Spanish painter married ballerina Olga Khokhlova in 1918, he began an affair with 17-year-old Marie-Therèse Walter, but didn't get divorced. And while he fathered a daughter with Walter, he also had relationships with many other women, most notably artist Dora Maar and then Francoise Gilot, who was 40 years his junior. (Maar and Walter once famously wrestled on the floor of Picasso's studio, which the artist called "one of the choicest memories.") Then in 1961, five years after Khokhlova died, Picasso settled down for the second time, marrying Jacqueline Roque, who remained his wife until his death.
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The 56-year marriage of actors Ossie Davis and Ruby Dee is one of Hollywood's most legendary. It was also one of the most open. As Davis, who died in 2005, wrote in their joint autobiography: "It occurred to us, from observation and reasoning, that extramarital sex was not what really destroyed marriages, but rather the lies and deception that invariably accompanied it—that was the culprit. So we decided to give ourselves permission to sleep with other partners if we wished—as long as what we did was honest as well as private, and that neither of us exposed the family to scandal or disease." And Dee explained why that strategy worked: "We both came to realize that we were very fortunate that, in all of the deep profound, fundamental ways, we really, really only wanted each other."
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Want to understand why men feel entitled to extracurricular activities? Look no further than the Bible. Though Abraham was promised he would be the father of many nations, his wife, Sarah, was barren. So Sarah came up with a plan: 86-year-old Abraham would take her servant Hagar as a concubine so she could give him a child. Not surprisingly, when Abraham did as he was told, Sarah grew jealous and banished her now-pregnant servant. And when Sarah turned 90 (and Abraham a spry 100), she eventually had her own son, Isaac, who became the second patriarch of Judaism. And what of Hagar's son with Abraham? Ishmael became the father of Islam.
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