Nicki Minaj’s 2017 is shaping up to be a scrub-free year. On Thursday, Minaj took to Twitter to announce that the handouts were over. In what can only be described as a gleeful tweet, the rapper wrote, “To confirm, yes I am single. Focusing on my work & looking forward to sharing it with you guys really soon. Have a blessed New Year.”
In addition to ensuring some new music in the very near future, the emancipation of Nicki will give the Pinkprint artist more time to focus on her hobbies: posing in bikinis, posing in athleisure wear, enjoying the comedic stylings of Billy Eichner, and filling Drake with regret.
This breakup is very bad news for Meek Mill, Minaj’s apparently-ex-boyfriend and deeply codependent beneficiary. You know that feeling when you try to take $20 out of the ATM, only to find that your balance is $1.25? That’s how Meek Mill is about to feel, every day, for the rest of his life.
The story of Minaj and Meek, her less talented rapper-cabana boy, is one for the books—literally (Minaj and Meek connected after he was booked on parole violation charges). The unapologetically vague Minaj explained to GQ that, “When he went to jail I was left in a house by myself.” The two started talking on the phone, forming a “strong mental connection” that blossomed into a full-fledged affair. Minaj was just coming out of a decade-long relationship with the similarly alliterative Safaree Samuels. Unfortunately Mill, unlike Samuels, proved incapable of meeting the basic boy toy requirements of posting flattering couple pictures, keeping the mansion in order, and staying out of trouble.
For whatever reason, the Philly rapper got restless and decided to start some drama. Now, that would have been all well and good, as long as Meek picked someone in his own weight class to rag on—the attention starved Soulja Boy, maybe, or the artist formerly known as Igloo Australia. Instead, Meek Mill decided to diss the one man he shouldn’t have: his girlfriend’s longtime friend and collaborator, Drake. Now, on the surface, Aubrey Graham may look soft. This is, after all, the man who tied a Fair Isle sweater around his shoulders to impress a girl at Wimbledon. But he’s no joke.
According to many—even Kanye West—Drake is currently one of the top rappers in the game. Meanwhile, the closest Meek Mill has ever gotten to greatness is when Nicki lets him sit in on her studio sessions.
Meek’s career suicide went exactly as expected. After he came for Drake, accusing him of using ghostwriters, the Canadian clapped back with two rapid-fire diss tracks, drowning Meek in a sea of savage rhymes and memes. In addition to totally annihilating Meek Mill, this feud gave us the incomparable burn, “Is that a world tour, or your girl’s tour?”, immortalizing Mill not just as a rap victim, but as Nicki Minaj’s lapdog. Perhaps Drake put the beef in perspective best, musing, “Nobody told you that this was a bad idea?”
And the low blows just kept on coming. In an Ellen appearance last year, Minaj told the host that “I don’t even want to say I’m in a relationship anymore.” This statement doubtlessly came as a shock to Minaj’s boyfriend, who was probably waiting in the wings with her back-up heels and fur coat. “I used to say I wasn’t in a relationship even though I was in a 12-year relationship and now,” she continued, “I feel like going back to that and saying I’m single.” While this meta-move was clearly designed to humiliate Meek and put him in his place, the couple hadn’t actually called it quits.
The breakup came many months later, and was reportedly a result of Meek’s rumored infidelity. It’s one thing to be carrying around the carcass of your rapper boyfriend’s career, but quite another to be saddled with his side piece’s finances. Minaj learned this the hard way when news leaked that Meek had been stepping out with a “Philadelphia boutique owner.” While we can’t confirm the identity of Meek’s new girlfriend—or even confirm the affair—we have a pretty good idea of what her butt looks like, courtesy of a very shady Instagram. After Meek posted an anonymous, lingerie-clad booty, fans became understandably suspicious. Accompanying reports claimed that Meek had actually been bankrolling his new boo’s business endeavors. As if supporting Meek wasn’t already a financial strain, it appears that Minaj may have inadvertently become a boutique investor. Nicki further fueled breakup rumors with her own Instagram of cerulean Chanel slides, captioned, “Thank God you BLUE it. Thank God I dodged the bullet. I’m so over u. Baby good looking out. #BestThingUNeverHad.”
Meek seems to be (mistakenly) taking the split in stride. On January 4th he went live on Instagram, partying with his friends. In the video, the rapper can be heard insisting that, “I need love.” Meek might be out looking for a new lady, but according to one source, he’s privately “devastated.” When asked about Meek’s mental health, the source continued, “He could go Kanye.” While hospitalization is obviously a severe reaction to a breakup, this is inarguably a low point for Meek Mill, both personally and professionally. Being the consort to a hip-hop queen gave the rapper a certain amount of industry clout. Now, he’s just another brokenhearted dude that Minaj has left in the dust.