CHEERS

Obama Chugs a Guinness in Ireland

Welcomed with open arms by his ancestral "cousins."

President Obama touched down in Ireland to an enthusiastic crowd on Monday morning, as thousands lined up on the streets in a village near Dublin, braving rain and hail to shake hands with their distant ancestor. In Moneygall—the native home of Obama's great-great-great-grandfather—the president raised a glass (three-quarters of a pint, to be exact) of Guinness to cheer his distant "cousins" who are suffering from their country's economic decline. A local shopkeeper who currently lives in what has been declared Obama's ancestral home told reporters he would not serve tea and crumpets to the president. "I think he's more interested in a pint," he said.