The Instagram account That Looks Like a Dick is exactly as billed: lots of dick pics. From a penis playground to a circumcised piece of cereal, the best images from the phallic account.
via Instagram
The caption of this naughty naval photo: “Lieutenant Chalmers’ life flashed before his eyes as ‘don’t ask don’t tell’ became ‘rapey charades’.#pleasedontcallforbackup.” Clearly some strategic placement and permanent glue was critical in arranging such an encounter for these two plastic toys.
Who needs arms when you have a giant peen that doubles as a slide? Not this plastic giant, in residence at a children’s playground, complete with rosy cheeks and a big grin.
Superheroes are already suggestive—with their skintight unitards and toned physiques, it’s hard not to notice their bulging assets. But when Spidey is marketed to sit atop a plastic cup where children drink from his “straw,” the term “spidey sense” gains a whole new meaning.
This political picture is captioned: “The GOP rules against OPP. From the sordid halls of the Texas state capital.” An obvious mistake, but we’re just curious to know what that giant tiled peen was supposed to be? A heart? A mushroom? Nope, just a straight-up penis.
This retro photo, which features a woman kissing a small, penis-shaped parrot, seems to affirm that dick pics have always been in style.
Peter Rabbit had an unfortunate nose job, or perhaps he just wanted the embodiment of his face? “Peter saw some shit back in Hanoi,” the account captioned this not-so-family-friendly animal.
The caption says it all: “Taunted by his peers, Doug yearned for the day when the surrounding does entered estrus. For then he would become a king, a god—a destroyer of worlds.”
A rocket ship? An ice cream cone? Luckily, this piece of knitted art is far more embarrassing for the embroiderer than the child lucky enough to wear it. The caption claims: “Knitting dicks for the kids is the only thing that keeps Grandma’s racist stories at bay. You pick your battles.”
There’s not a lot to be said about this image, but a new superhero comes to mind: Permaid—part human, part mermaid, part giant penis. Or, as the caption simply puts it: “big-dicked-paraplegics.”
I mean really, who knew what the inside of a possum’s mouth looked like until now?
Sometimes it’s just how you look at things: to some, it’s a cozy plush recliner; to others, a giant black penis. Tomato, tomahto.
It seems wherever you turn, there’s a piece of cereal that looks like a president’s bust. But here, one lucky kiddo found something else in his breakfast: “Even Dr. John Harvey Kellogg had a punk phase before devolving into mediocrity.”
“I’m really happy or you, Imma let you finish, but Gladys Knight had one of the best whip-outs of ALL TIME,” the account captioned this photo of Knight accepting an award. Let’s all just be thankful it’s not a microphone.
