Stephen Colbert could hardly contain his joy at watching President Trump’s no tax on tips publicity stunt blow up in his face.
“It’s not his fault. He’s just never handed a woman cash before. He usually just tucks it in the G-string,” Colbert, 61, quipped after showing The Late Show audience Trump awkwardly handing cash to a DoorDash driver.
The exchange came during a White House publicity stunt on Monday to highlight the new federal income tax break on tips.
After receiving two McDonald’s bags from Sharon Simmons, an Arkansas DoorDash driver, Trump, 79, asked the ‘DoorDash Grandma’ if she voted for him.
“Uhh, maybe,” Simmons sheepishly replied.
“The White House may not have prepped the delivery woman as well as they should have,” Colbert joked. “I think we found the next pope.”
After showing his audience the “bonkers” photo of Trump tipping Simmons, Colbert mimicked the awkward cash handover.
The Late Show host contorted his face, hunched his shoulders, and grunted while gesturing at the cash in his hand. The imitation likened Trump to a Neanderthal, only capable of communicating through a series of points, grunts, and mimery.
After subjecting Simmons to the stilted media stunt, Trump roped her into a press conference, where he posed his own questions.
Amidst a shaky public defense and the eventual removal of an absurd AI-generated image of himself as Christ on Truth Social, Trump asked Simmons to describe her husband’s soon-to-be-published book.
“He hasn’t had it published yet, but it’s a book on humility,” Simmons explained to Trump, who quietly nodded.
Then, Trump threw the DoorDash Grandma a curveball.
“Do you think that men should play in women’s sports?” Trump asked, referring to the controversial debate around transgender athletes in female sports.
“I really don’t have an opinion on that,” Simmons deflected.
“You don’t? I’ll bet you do,” Trump said.
Colbert, mocking the president’s playful tone, riffed on his response.
“Stop it. I’ll bet–don’t be shy. You can tell me anything. I’m Dr. Jesus,” Colbert joked, referencing Trump’s thin excuse that his Christlike image had actually been depicting him as a “doctor making people better.”
The late-night host then offered Trump a suggestion for what he should have asked instead.
“Could you open the Strait of Hormuz? ‘Cause if you do...” Colbert said, gesturing like a caveman to imaginary cash in his hand.
