Jimmy Kimmel is baffled by the latest bruise on President Trump’s hand.
During a signing ceremony Thursday, Trump was spotted by reporters with a heavy bruise on the back of his left hand. This was particularly surprising given that it’s usually his right hand that appears injured.
“Donald Trump’s going to have to be very careful during court-ordered lovemaking tonight,” said Kimmel, “Because Teddy Bruise-evelt, I don’t know, he may have left his makeup kit at home.”
“He’s got a nasty bruise on his left hand,” Kimmel said, “Which doesn’t exactly square up with the ‘he shakes a lot of hands’ explanation for the bruises.”
Kimmel was referring to the explanation from Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt that Trump’s hand bruises are the result of him shaking so many people’s hands on a regular basis.
Kimmel remarked, “[Trump] didn’t even try to spackle over it this time.”
Kimmel explained, “Karoline Leavitt put out a statement saying [Trump] banged his hand on the corner of a table during a signing ceremony.”
He jokingly added, referencing a 2018 claim made by porn actress Stormy Daniels that she spanked him with a magazine, that the bruising was also due to Trump “spanking himself with that Nobel Peace Prize.”
Trump’s repeatedly bruised hand has been a major source of media concern throughout his second term. The Daily Beast was one of the first publications to extensively cover the issue.
This wasn’t Kimmel’s first time commenting on Trump’s hand bruises either. In his Wednesday monologue, Kimmel did a sketch where he interviewed Trump’s talking hand, which was orange and badly bruised.
Trump’s hand explained that it was covering up the bruising with some “subtle foundation.” The foundation turned out to be mostly Cheez Whiz.
“They powder me like a donut,” Trump’s hand bragged. “And bing bong bing, sexiest hand alive.”
Trump himself addressed the rumors around his hand bruises on Thursday, telling reporters that he “clipped” his hand “on a table.”
”So I put a little, what do they call it, the cream on it,“ Trump said.
The president also attributed the bruising to his tendency to take more aspirin than required:
“I take the big aspirin, and when you take the big aspirin, they tell you you’ll bruise,” Trump said. “The doctor said: ‘you don’t have to take that, sir, you’re very healthy’. I said, ‘I’ll take it anyway.’”
