John Oliver says the country is in a “slow-moving constitutional crisis,” as demonstrated by Donald Trump’s meltdown at his handpicked D.C. prosecutor.
“Just this week, we saw an absolute fiasco surrounding Jeanine Pirro, U.S. attorney for D.C. and future star of The Real Housewives of Hell,” began Oliver on Sunday’s Last Week Tonight.
Pirro, 75, is in the 80-year-old president’s sights for failing to prosecute former Olympian David Hearn after he was accused of vandalizing the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool.
The D.C. landmark underwent a multimillion-dollar renovation personally overseen by Trump but which has been mired in chaos. After a slimy green algal bloom and a torn pool liner ruined the refurb, Trump and his followers cried sabotage and accused Hearn, 67, of deliberately vandalizing the monument after he was seen putting his hand into the water.
“You might remember last month she charged this former Olympic canoeist with a felony for allegedly vandalizing the reflecting pool, justifying her decision like this,” explained Oliver, 49, panning to footage of Pirro attempting to explain the charges against Hearn. The former Fox News host said that “Hearn willfully destroyed property,” and added he did so with both of “his bare hands.”
Pirro then said, “He damaged the pool before he touched it. He damaged this pool.”
Oliver was perplexed by the attorney’s justifications. “OK. OK. First, you have to promise not to take what I’m about to say out of context, because I do not want to see this pulled out in a headline tomorrow,” he said.
“OK. That said, we shouldn’t always have to believe women, because sometimes women like Jeanine Pirro—and many men—can be, and again, do not quote me on this, dumb as hell, wrong as hell, and louder than a drunk parakeet,” continued the HBO host.
“The point is, that was a wild claim. And last Friday, the DOJ quietly moved to dismiss the charge, acknowledging what everyone already assumed: that the damage to the reflecting pool was the result of a botched installation and not, in fact, vandalism.”
The dismissal of the charges, as Oliver explained, was not taken well by the president, who complained that Pirro had “folded like an umbrella.”
“OK, that is unfortunately a very funny way of saying it,” quipped Oliver.
“Honestly, in another universe—a much better one—Trump would be a sassy upstairs neighbor on a long-running sitcom,” he said. “Sadly, instead, he’s the president, and his quips about being bummed that the U.S. attorney for D.C. isn’t getting the results that he personally wants are signs of a slow-moving constitutional crisis.”
