This week:
- The James Bond Hunger Games officially begin.
- The best person at the Kevin Hart roast.
- Suddenly, we’re all tennis superfans.
- SNL UK is, like, actually really good.
- Taylor Swift wedding news.
License to Speculate
We’re heading towards an apocalyptic event of “shaken, not stirred” puns in trade magazines and pop culture websites, as it’s just been announced that Amazon MGM officially started auditioning actors to be the new James Bond.
Variety reported that Game of Thrones casting vet Nina Gold, who was just nominated for the inaugural casting Oscar for her work on Hamnet, has been hired for the arduous task of adjudicating which of cinema’s most handsome men is the suavest, sexiest, and looks best in a form-fitting tux. Everyone has a cross to bear in this life. Prayers for you, Nina.
The even more important role in all of this, however, is mine: sitting on a couch barking my opinion of who should be cast, even though it doesn’t matter what I think at all. I take the role very seriously.
Given that over the last decade, Daniel Craig has grumpily threatened to quit his tenure as 007 only to repeatedly agree to one more movie and one more paycheck the size of a small country’s GDP, there have been several names bandied about over the years.
There are the “sure, they’re very attractive and British” candidates like Aidan Turner, Callum Turner (as far as I know, no relation), and Aaron Taylor-Johnson, who are great actors but I don’t think have the intangible charisma that ole Jimmy B. needs. Michael Fassbender has been asked about playing the part so many times that giving him the role at this point would seem more like a charitable apology for the nuisance than something earned.
Jacob Elordi is mentioned as a possibility in the Variety article, which I think is rather insane. There should be more qualifications besides “extremely tall” for such an iconic character.
I’ve always thought either of the Game of Thrones brothers, Kit Harrington and Richard Madden, would be great Bonds, and the casting director’s GoT connection, one would imagine, would give them a leg up. Though Madden played what is essentially a version of Bond already, in the excellent series The Bodyguard, so that might work against him.
After the first season of Bridgerton aired, many people salivated at the prospect of its star, Regé-Jean Page, taking over. That was also a time when inclusive, race-blind, and, forgive me for using this word, woke casting was somewhat of an industry mission statement. As with everyone these days, the pendulum has since swung back in the other direction with alarming fervor and speed. It’s a sad state of affairs, but I can’t imagine a Black actor being cast as James Bond right now.
My suggestion for the part would hardly surprise anyone who knows me or has read this newsletter over the past few years. But I do objectively think he would be the perfect Bond. It’s Jonathan Bailey, duh.
He is incredibly sexy and basically has a master’s degree in smoldering on camera. He’s played action heroes and romantic leads, and raked in box-office dollars and millions of streaming views doing both. He’s athletic, as proven in the Wicked dance sequences and Jurassic Park stunt scenes, not to mention that his hobbies include gymnastics and open-water swimming.
But I think what tips the scales is the charming, almost wily and mischievous streak that he has, a sense of humor and cheekiness that I think every great Bond has possessed.
It’s certainly meaningful to me, personally, that he would be a gay actor playing an international sex symbol and assassin, finally putting to rest the ridiculously perpetuated fallacy that gay performers aren’t believable in straight romances; he’s already done that to steamy success in Bridgerton and Wicked. But even that as a milestone doesn’t matter. He’s the actor working right now who I just think is right for it.
So Nina Gold, call me. I’m happy to chat and get the ball rolling on this.
This Is a Satisfying Roast
I generally don’t understand why anyone would agree to be roasted, or even how the idea of “let’s make fun of you on the deepest, cruelest level” became an honor or celebration. Luckily, I am not a famous person, so I don’t have to worry about such things. But it is with that “why are we doing this?” side-eye that I watch these ever-popular celebrity roasts.
Kevin Hart was the honoree/victim for the latest Netflix roast, and while I’ll say the event was a victory lap for free speech (which is to say a lot of offensive material was excused under the guise of “it’s comedy”), it was a little dismaying that few sets amounted to much beyond “haha Kevin Hart is really short!”
Then Chelsea Handler took the microphone, reserving her best material for the manosphere comedians on the dais. She positively torched them. It was so much fun to watch. You can read more about her set here. It’s absolutely worth checking out.
God Bless the People at Vanity Fair
Look, am I proud of how feral I am over my beloved tennis star Carlos Alcaraz’s new cover shoot and spread for Vanity Fair? No, of course not. But what I am is a human, a human with eyes. And those eyes are extremely happy right now.
Opens in new windowI have invested an amount of time that some might rule “unreasonable” into clicking and liking enough posts to make my social media feeds 70 percent thirsty Carlitos posts. (You know, to offset the other 30 percent that is hantavirus doomsday content.)
In my defense, I will say that my obsession is rooted in being a tennis fan and thoroughly enjoying and appreciating Alcaraz’s rise in the sport. He’s a human sports highlight reel in real time on the court, just astronomically talented. He has a very entertaining flair for showmanship, but he’s also just a really nice guy who seems to love what he’s doing and is grateful for his success. It’s a welcome departure from the typical athlete narcissism. And that it’s served with a side of photo shoots like this…well, that’s a bonus.
She’s Our Greatest Entertainer
If you haven’t been watching Saturday Night Live U.K., it’s finishing up its first run of episodes and has been surprisingly enjoyable. (I don’t know why it’s surprising. I guess it seemed like a gamble whether the format would translate overseas, and generally anything to do with SNL is kind of precarious, quality-wise.)
Ted Lasso star Hannah Waddingham, who also happens to be a West End musical theater legend, was the recent host. She and the female members of the cast performed a song called “Two Glasses of Wine,” which had me giggling uncontrollably at my desk as I watched the clip.
I’m Just Trying to RSVP
TMZ is reporting that Taylor Swift is personally calling friends and family to invite them to her wedding, since celebrity Save-the-Date cards almost always get leaked to the press. I guess I’m wondering if she has my new number because I haven’t gotten a call yet, and I’ve checked to make sure the ringer is on and the voicemail box is empty and everything.
More From The Daily Beast’s Obsessed
I talked to the co-creator of Hacks about the best episode the series has maybe ever done. Watch it here.
I paid tribute to Lisa Kudrow The Comeback, which just ended its epic run. Read it here.
MAGA is already melting down about a movie that not a single person has seen. The reason will (not) shock you. Read it here.
What to Watch This Week
Dutton Ranch: Another day, another Yellowstone spinoff. But this one is good! (Now on Paramount+)
The Punisher: One Last Kill: A new Marvel special that is like John Wick times a thousand. (Now on Disney+)
Obsession: Scary, funny, and totally deranged. (Now in theaters)
What to Skip This Week
The Wizard of Kremlin: You’d think Jude Law as Vladimir Putin would be more interesting. (Now in theaters)
In the Grey: Just about everything about this movie is as formulaic as you’d think. (Now in theaters)
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