Nicole Kidman has confessed that she was “beyond lonely” on the night of her Oscar win.
In 2003, the highly acclaimed actress won the Academy Award for Best Actress for her role as Virginia Woolf in The Hours. But the night she took home the accolade was a struggle, she admitted in a new episode of Therapuss with Jake Shane.
“I was beyond lonely,” said Kidman, 59. “I had the pinnacle of my success, and I went home and was so lonely.”
Kidman had undergone an extremely public divorce from fellow A-lister Tom Cruise in 2001, just two years prior to her big win.
“Crazy though,” she continued, “That sort of the confluence of events... like, I have my mom with me and my dad, but I was like, where’s my partner? Where’s someone that I can share this with?”
“It was like one of the most profound moments where I went, I’ve got to get a life,” she reflected.
The actress told the host and her Practical Magic co-star, Sandra Bullock, that she was “so grateful yet so lonely.”
“At the same time, I’m holding this gold statue where you go, this is it. This is the highest sort of prize you can get in our industry,” she said. “It actually felt like I’d love to be able to just, you know, be wrapped in somebody’s arms right now.”
Kidman’s candid confessions come amid her second divorce from country singer Keith Urban, 58. The couple, who share two children, split up after nearly 20 years of marriage.
Kidman filed for divorce from the New Zealand-born singer last September, citing irreconcilable differences. She has remained relatively tight-lipped about the break-up, telling British Vogue in August that she now has “a different view” of her life.
“You make all these plans, and you have all these ideas of what it’s all going to be like, and then it’s… not. You have to adjust. You adapt. The future, it’s completely unknown to me right now,” she said.
Meanwhile, the Academy Award winner was far more open about her split from Cruise, 64.
“I got married so young,” she told British Vogue. “Suddenly I was 22, 23 years old, and I had this huge movie star husband. But it just seemed completely natural. We just fell madly in love, and it was that simple. I remember people saying to me, ‘OK, well this is really going to affect your career.’ I’m like, ‘I don’t care. I’m in love. I want to be married.’ And then I was his ‘wife,’ and they were like, ‘See, we told you.’ I’m like, ‘So what? I wasn’t meant to marry the man I love? Of course I’ll throw my career away. I don’t care.’”
The star couple, who starred together in Days of Thunder, Far and Away, and Eyes Wide Shut, divorced after 11 years of marriage.
Kidman has previously spoken about her big night at the Oscars all those years ago, admitting to author Dave Karger in 2024, “I was struggling with things in my personal life, yet my professional life was going so well. That’s what happens, right?”
She confessed that she reluctantly attended the Vanity Fair after-party, feeling “completely overwhelmed, emotional, shaking.”
“I didn’t enjoy it,” she said in Kruger’s book 50 Oscar Nights. “I was almost apologetic, which is so stupid. I wish I could have enjoyed it more.”
