Losing at the Oscars isn't losing at all: With a consolation gift bag of $85,000 worth of free goodies, even the most disheartened nominee won't be going home empty-handed. Included in Oscar gift bags will be vouchers for three vacations: an $85,000 African safari with a personal chef, a $14,500 stay in Monaco, and a $7,000 trip to Connecticut. Also included are gift cards for online shopping, gourmet chocolate, an indoor skydiving experience, and fitness classes. All this without mention of the year of free Altoids and a "green" mattress. Better yet are celebrity gift suites like the one that Sarah Palin combed over today with her family. This year's Oscar suite includes a chance at electronic cigarettes, $8,800 red-eye removal surgery (don't ask), premium gaming apparel (clothes to wear while gaming), and a pill that aims to prevent breast cancer. But nothing beats this year's Golden Globes swag bags, however, where micro-pigs were handed out to any celebrity that attended an hour-long seminar on how to care for the bacon bits.