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Peter Mountain, Disney / AP Photo
What do you do with a drunken sailor? Well, in one British woman’s case, the obvious thing to do while allegedly high and sauced as a seamen on shore leave was to commandeer a passenger ferry and ram other watercraft while hollering “I’m Jack Sparrow” and “I’m a pirate.” And when officers of the law came to restore peace and toss her in the brig, 51-year-old Alison Whelan began drifting away on the double-decker ferry she briefly captained off the English coast of Dartmouth. When police finally arrested Whelan, the part-time privateer informed the landlubbers that she “would have ended up in St. Tropez” had they not clapped her in irons. At least this answers where all the rum has gone.