Put Andrew WK in the Twin Peaks Remake

Face it, you’re excited about Showtime’s forthcoming Twin Peaks reboot. How could you not be? It’s either going to let you rekindle the pie and coffee soaked nights of your youth, or, if you fall under the Millennial banner, provide direct access to one of the oddest, and greatest, network television cultural experiments of all time.

I’m getting chills right now just remembering those first few strains of Angelo Badalamenti’s haunting theme song.

As they slowly roll out casting, with creator David Lynch tweeting about Kyle MacLachlan, AKA OG FBI Agent Dale Cooper’s, imminent return, there are certain key characters who will need to be filled with fresh blood. Laura Palmer, for one, (um, hey J. Law, what’re you up to this summer? Oh, a mega blockbuster? K, bummer) and that freaky psychosexual Man from Another Place (does anyone else think Peter Dinklage as a slinky, jazz-dancing, Black Lodge dwelling wizard would be the best thing ever?).

Equally important, who could forget the Canadian tuxedo clad Killer BOB, a character whose original actor, Frank Silva, passed on in 1995? Who could fill those spectral shoes? Christopher Walken, perhaps, for sheer ability-to-be-ghoulish, but he’s become typecast. Lynch needs to freshen things up to stand out in today’s market.

Problem. Solved.

As of this week, a glorious hat has been thrown in the ring: Professional music and hype man Andrew W.K. Impeccable cultural credentials aside, he’s also pretty much a dead ringer right out of the box.

As a high school student during Twin Peaks’s original run way back in the flannel-clad early 90s, I’m not afraid to admit that I was legitimately creeped way out by BOB’s character. Hide-under-a-blanket, make-sure-all-the-lights-were-on-and-go-to-bed-like-that creeped out. The only TV monster since then that has had the same effect has been Dr. Huxtable on those late night Cosby Show reruns.

Described via Wikipedia as “a demonic entity from the Black Lodge, a realm of pure evil which exists on an alternate plane of reality” who “feeds on fear and pleasure,” BOB may as well be Andrew W.K.’s dark side come to life. That Twin Peaks can’t help but be the feeling-good-about-feeling-weird lowbrow smash hit of 2016 only makes it a more perfect gig for W.K., who can lend some pop culture star power credibility to the lineup, not that Lynch, who commands a Manson-esque fan base, will need it.

There are going to be countless thinkpieces devoted to Twin Peaks in the coming months, with every Generation X-er with an Internet connection weighing in on casting choice, potential plot lines, and even reminiscing on “food moments.” Andrew W.K. for Killer BOB, however, does not require thinkpieces. It doesn’t even require thinking. It’s a no-brainer.

Your move, Mr. Lynch.

(H/T Vanyaland)