Prince William had barely stood up from proposing with the ring his father gave his mother in 1981, when knockoffs began appearing online. Diana’s original ring, an 18-carat sapphire surrounded by 14 diamonds, is now Kate’s, but for the low, low price of $19.90 the Royal Heirloom Ring and its simulated “Ceylon” sapphire and 14 X-4 cubic zirconia can be yours. But caveat emptor: not only is the ring fake, but the esteemed organization that sells it, The British Historic Society, does not actually exist.
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To protect against the use of William and Kate’s likeness on cheesy articles of clothing—no “Love Thongs of William and Kate,” please—the royal family issued strict guidelines about what types of items can feature their photographs, and china makes the cut. Loving cups have been used in wedding ceremonies since at least the 15th century, and Aynsley China’s version costs a modest £32.95 ($54), and is part of the Royal Commemorative collection, which includes, plates, mugs, and coasters.
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Before the wedding guests at Westminster Abbey can shout “mazel tov!” on April 29, there has to be a kiss. To get the puckering rolling this month, Castle Rock brewery in Nottingham will introduce a new commemorative beer—Kiss Me Kate. According to head brewer Adrian Redgrove, "Kiss Me Kate will be elegant, tasteful, and British to the core. We're sure it'll be the ideal way to toast the couple's future happiness."
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The United States may have a Tea Party, but the British know how to tea party. So even if you can’t go to the big wedding, you can still have the royal couple over for a spot of tea. German-based Donkey Products has begun selling KaTEA and William tea bags, which are attached to images of William and Kate, complete with arms that tea drinkers can rest on their cups. Pylones offers the set for $8. Earl Grey could not be reached for comment.
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On the more traditional side of wedding souvenirs are the £5 commemorative coins issued by the Royal Mint and authorized by the prince and Queen Elizabeth herself. The coins, which feature a surprisingly unflattering engraved portrait of the couple (Elizabeth II is on the flip side), comes in silver and costs £55.50. And for those looking to splurge, a gold version will set you back £1550.
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To get around the royal family’s edict that photos of William and Kate may not be used on commemorative T-shirts, Sainsbury’s came up with a charming solution. Selling for a modest £10, this tee features an elegant black-and-white etching of a tree, and the childhood rhyme that celebrates K-I-S-S-I-N-G.
The royal family is so strict about the use of William and Kate’s likeness, it won’t allow their images on the officially sanctioned china. The Royal Collection, which has been designing gifts for kings and queens for centuries, offers such proper items as a commemorative plate (£40), tea towel (£7.95), and a pill box (£25). Royal aspirin sold separately.
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The royal family may have their own official china makers, but the Middletons can help set your table, too. In 1987, Kate’s parents, Michael and Carole Middleton, founded Party Pieces, a mail order party supply company. While their new “ British Street Party” line is not tacky enough to feature William and Kate, it’s clearly intended to take advantage of all the local celebrations that will occur on April 29 ( much to the horror of Buckingham Palace). The British Street Party collection won’t be available until March 18, but it will include platters, bowls, cups, napkins, and the all-important canapé flags. Long may they wave.
Planning on watching the royal wedding on an iPad? Why not trick it out with a souvenir case? Zazzle, which offers an array of wedding merch—t-shirts, mugs, keychains—sells a £39.35 Pepto-Bismol pink iPad case, complete with a golden lion and the words “Wills & Kate—April 29, 2011.” But if that’s too garish, Zazzle also has a black case with a giant picture of Kate’s engagement ring on the back.
From the country that gave us King James comes a commemorative King James Bible. The U.K. Gift Company’s Bible is limited to 2,000 copies, bears Prince William’s royal coat of arms and features a specially designed sleeve in honor of the royal wedding. And for trivia buffs, 2011 also marks the 400th anniversary of the King James translation.
The royal family is certainly close-knit, but this gift takes that concept to a whole new level. Galt Toys is offering a free Will & Kate Knitting Pattern so you can stitch your own royal couple. The woolly Windsors were introduced at the London Toy Fair in January, and were modeled by William and Kate look-alikes, Andy Bevan and Kate Walker.
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What better symbol of love to commemorate the royal wedding than a thimble of love? Royalweddinggifts.com sells a bone china version for £2.09, featuring a photograph of William and Kate as well as the date of their wedding. For a few pounds more, the Thimble Guild offers a “Perfect Couple” model, but for one with real staying power, spring for the thimble celebrating Queen Elizabeth’s 63 years of marriage to Prince Philip.
One clever way to get around the edict forbidding the use of William and Kate’s images? Turn them into limited edition swan paperweights. Though the Royal Crown Derby’s limited edition pair is currently sold out—they go for a steep £590.00— you can still get the matching bride-and-groom bear couple for £175.00
Nothing says wedding night quite like a box of commemorative condoms. The Crown Jewels “ condoms of distinction” claim to be “lavishly lubed” and “royally ribbed,” and sell for £5 for a pack of three. Moreover, the souvenir box features a fawning portrait of the royal couple so you can lie back and think of England.
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Finally, if the idea of the whole affair nauseates you, designer Lydia Leith has just the gift— Royal Wedding barf bags. With a design that echoes the “Keep Calm and Carry On” products, these bags come in red-and-white and—what else?—royal blue-and-white, and feature a drawing of the happy couple with the comforting words: “Keep this handy on April 29, 2011.”
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