Samantha Bee Goes to Iraq, Finds Trump Fanatics

Samantha Bee took a welcome respite from the political news of the week on Full Frontal this Wednesday to take a trip to somewhere for more hospitable: Iraq.

“While our media are finding ways not to say Steve Bannon sucks his own cock, our troops are kicking ISIS’ ass with help from our allies the Kurds,” Bee said, by way of introduction to her latest field piece. “Most Americans couldn’t find Kurdistan on a map, but for once it’s not because we’re dumb.” She explained that the Kurds are “the largest ethnic group in the world without their own country,” adding, “Suck it, Andalusians!”

As Bee learned when she traveled to there, “the Kurds are finding help in an unlikely place—a very, very, very unlikely place.”

The host was surprised to learn that the Kurdish people had kinder things to say about Donald Trump than they did about Barack Obama. She even found one couple who named their baby after Trump. “Huh? What is going on here?” she asked herself. “Do the Kurds really like President Muslim ban more than they like President Muslim?”

“They love Trump,” she added. “OK. Are we in the middle of making Samantha Bee’s first, and probably last ever, Trump-positive field piece? Why do the Kurds love our first WWE president so much? Why are they the only people outside of Russia that his presidency gives hope to?”

As it turns out, Trump is the first U.S. president to directly arm the Kurds in their fight against ISIS, something for which they have been quite thankful. “But the Kurds are aware that President Four Loko is just using them as mercenaries in the war against ISIS, right?” she asked.

“The Kurds aren’t stupid,” Bee added. “Surely they know Trump changes his mind more often than he changes communications directors. Why would people who’ve endured so much instability trust our least stable president?”

The thing they “love about Trump is that he’s crazy enough to do almost anything,” she learned. “Like I wouldn’t be surprised if he nuked California, but he also might help create an independent Kurdish state, so you never know what you’re going to get.”

“If the one good thing that comes out of the Trump presidency is that he makes the Kurds feel hopeful about their state, that’s one more good thing than I anticipated,” Bee readily admitted.

But at least while she was there, she also found one Bernie bro to make her feel better.