'LEAN IN, BITCH’

Samantha Bee Tears Apart Kellyanne Conway: ‘The Soulless, Machiavellian Despot America Deserves’

The Full Frontal host wonders why Kellyanne Conway isn’t president of the United States instead of Donald Trump.

It took long enough for Samantha Bee to get around to dedicating an entire segment of her Full Frontal show to Trump campaign manager-turned-counselor to the president Kellyanne Conway. But it was worth the wait.

As “one of the top five or six feminist shows in late-night,” Bee decided Wednesday to focus in on “Donald Trump’s omnipresent spokes-cobra.” After playing clips of Fox News hosts celebrating Conway’s role as the first woman to run a successful presidential campaign, Bee shouted, “Jesus, Fox, stop ramming your feminist identity politics down America’s throats!”

Bee gave Conway credit for turning Trump’s “upended port-a-potty of a campaign around,” saying she’s “fucking amazing at her job” and “deserves credit” for that. Yet somehow, “the left” is not willing to give her that credit.

“Oh my God, you guys, it’s so unfair,” Bee said. “A woman pulls off the historic feat of electing a sexual predator who thinks women should be punished for having abortions and feminists don’t celebrate her with a Vogue cover!” Though, she joked, Conway did get the cover of “Pussy-Grabber Enabler Monthly.”

The host proceeded to inaugurate Conway into her “Great Feminists in Feminism Herstory Hall of Lady Fame,” running down some of the more ridiculous comments the Republican strategist made before joining the Trump campaign.

“As racists who don’t feel like racists keep telling us, we should never judge anybody by what they say or do, but only by what’s in their heart,” Bee said, echoing a recent Conwayism. “And I know Kellyanne doesn’t believe those homophobic, sexist things in her heart, because Kellyanne doesn’t believe anything in her heart. She will say literally anything.”

For instance, before she joined the Trump campaign, Conway was lambasting the real-estate tycoon on cable news on behalf of Ted Cruz. But since then, she has changed her tune entirely. “We haven’t seen a blonde do this much spinning and lying since Tonya Harding,” Bee joked.

Juxtaposing Conway’s “jiu-jitsu” with her boss’ ham-handed attempts to shut down reporters, Bee asked Trump, “Have you learned nothing from Kellyanne? Smile, take the question, don’t answer it, complain about Hillary Clinton. It’s not a difficult formula!”

“Why the hell is he president instead of her?” Bee wondered. “Kellyanne is the soulless, Machiavellian despot America deserves!” Her advice to Conway? “Lean in, bitch!”