We recently broke the news of the North Pole hack that sent Santa Claus—and the nation—scrambling for answers. Now, The Daily Beast brings you an exclusive list at the most prized item in Santa’s factory: no, not the latest generation of dancing robots, but the Naughty List. We’ve gotten our hands on a copy of the top-secret List, and we’ve noticed more than a fair share of people we all recognize from our daily lives. Have a look at a few entries—we’re glad Santa’s taking a stand.
No love for The Internet, or much of it, anyway: Santa has “Trolls” at the top of his Naughty List this year, and we’re thinking he doesn’t mean those naked plastic dudes with blue hair. Internet trolls, those people who can turn a simple article about gardening into an existential assault on human decency in the comment section, will be getting coal this year. Add “People Who Text During Conversation” and “Social Media Friends Who Post Entire Paragraphs About What They Ate for Breakfast,” and you’ve got a truly harrowing Naughty List. Stay strong, Santa!