GROSSEST

Seth Meyers Disgusted by Trump’s Stormy Daniels Affair, Squirts Purell Into His Mouth

The ‘Late Night’ host doesn’t understand how this story has “barely registered as more than a blip in the news cycle.”

NBC

“Let’s just take a step back and consider how insane things are right now,” Seth Meyers said on his show Thursday night. “Not only is the president dealing with a potential government shutdown of his own making, as well as the fallout from his racist tirade last week, he’s also dealing with the North Korean nuclear crisis.”

And then there’s the revelation that Trump paid porn star Stormy Daniels $130,000 to keep quiet about their affair.

“So, on top of everything else, we have a president who’s such a genius he’s somehow still paying for porn,” Meyers said, marveling that this story has “barely registered as more than a blip in the news cycle.”

“Meanwhile, the last president’s wife said people should have a salad once and a while and people lost their minds!” he added.

Through Michael Cohen, the lawyer who allegedly paid the hush money to Daniels, Trump is denying the affair. But the release of an interview that Daniels gave to InTouch magazine several years ago not only seems to confirm that it happened, but has given the public way too much information about their short-lived relationship.

“One of the grossest part of this story is how Trump apparently lured Daniels to his hotel room,” Meyers said, quoting the part of her interview in which she said she arrived at his room thinking they would be going out to dinner but instead Trump was “sprawled out on the couch watching TV, wearing pajama pants.”

“Oh my god, Trump behaves the way a 13-year-old thinks a celebrity billionaire gets to behave,” the host said, imitating the president. “‘It was great, I was watching TV in my pajamas and a porn star came to my room and made out with me. Then we had McDonald’s for dinner, hopped in my Lamborghini and it was off to Gotham to beat Batman!’”

But according to Meyers, that wasn’t even “the grossest” part of the piece. That distinction belonged to a “compliment” Trump once paid Daniels. “He told me once that I was someone to be reckoned with, beautiful, smart, just like his daughter,” she recalled to InTouch.

With that, Meyers pulled out a giant tub of Purell and squeezed it directly into his mouth.

Later, when he had moved on to Trump’s lack of knowledge about the immigration system, Meyers asked, “Man, where did he learn to change positions so often?” before answering his own question: “Oh, right: porn stars.”