CROWD CONTROLLED

Seth Meyers Mocks Donald Trump Jr. Over His Tiny CPAC Crowd Size

Seth Meyers has “seen middle school dance recitals with a bigger audience” than the one that showed up to see Don Jr. speak at CPAC.

Could crowd size—or lack thereof—be an inherited trait? Based on the paltry number of people who showed up to hear former President Donald Trump and his outspoken eldest son speak at this weekend’s CPAC gathering, it seems, at least, possible.

Seth Meyers was clearly amused Monday night by just how unimpressive a crowd several of CPAC’s featured speakers—including 2024 presidential candidate Nikki Haley, Don Jr., and Junior’s equally terrible half, Kimberly Guilfoyle—managed to pull. Meyers was particularly tickled by the lack of bottoms in seats during Junior’s MAGA rant.

“Wow, that looks less like an audience and more like the tour group at a spoon museum on a Tuesday morning,” Meyers remarked. “I’ve seen middle school dance recitals with a bigger audience. He looks like he’s doing an off-Broadway one-man-show called The Real Cocaine Bear.”

Ultimately, however, Meyers sees Don Jr. and his CPAC cronies as a microcosm of the power that the unhinged conservatives still hold—though, to his delight, it seems to be shrinking.

“They’re all in a little echo chamber screaming to half-empty conference rooms about made-up bullshit most normal people don’t care about,” Meyers said.

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Jennifer M. Wood

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