There’s been a lot—I mean a lot—of Trumpworld news this week, from the Justice Department revelations in Michael Cohen’s sentencing (namely, that President Trump directed his fixer to commit a felony) to many more purported Trump-Russia ties.
So naturally, the latest edition of Saturday Night Live would tackle the chaos surrounding the president during its much-ballyhooed cold open. But instead of focusing on Alec Baldwin’s tired Trump shtick, and the even more uninspired barrage of homophobic Trump-Putin jokes, the action opened on Trump Tower.
There, presidential spawn Don Jr. and Eric were huddled together by Eric’s tiny twin bed, with Eric nervously clenching a stuffed-animal shark.
“They said they’re going to indict you,” Eric told Don Jr.. “I’m impressed that you know what ‘indict’ means,” Don Jr. replied.
Don Jr. proceeded to attempt to read Twas the Night Before Christmas to Eric—that is, until a creaking-door sounded only to reveal behind it… none other than Robert De Niro’s Robert Mueller, the special counsel investigating Trump-Russia collusion.
With that, Mueller—or “your Dad’s friend from work”, as he put it—sat beside Eric’s miniature bed. Instead of telling a bedtime story, however, he comforted Eric in a different way.
“I’m glad we’re laughing, but this is serious,” said Mueller. “But hey, no one knows the full story yet. You saw what I put out—it’s all been heavily redacted.”
“Eric, I just came here to let you know that no matter happens, America is going to be just fine. This is a country full of good people,” he added.
Eric, clenching his baby shark—a nod to his father’s time tuning in to “Shark Week” during his alleged tryst with adult film star Stormy Daniels—squeaked, “Mr. Mueller, people say you’re the worst thing to happen to my Dad.”
“No, Eric, getting elected president was the worst thing to happen to your Dad,” he replied.
It wasn’t the most inspired bit but hey, it could have been worse.