On Tuesday night, one day after delivering an emotional plea for gun control in the wake of a mass shooting at a Texas church that left 26 people dead, The Late Show host Stephen Colbert focused his attention on Election Day 2017.
“Meanwhile, back in the United States, it’s Election Day—just not the one we wish it was,” cracked Colbert during his monologue, adding, “Either way, I am planning to uphold the Election Day tradition I started last year: getting a very close look at my carpet through an empty liquor bottle. One year tomorrow.”
Colbert noted that his show was taping prior to the results of the most hotly contested race on Election Day, as The Late Show usually tapes at about 4:30 p.m. ET.
“The election everyone’s watching this year is the race for governor for Virginia,” Colbert explained. “It’s a race between Republican and anxious groundhog Ed Gillespie, and Democrat and doctor-explaining-where-he’s-going-to-put-his-finger Ralph Northam.”
President Donald Trump and his administration had been vocal in recent days in backing fellow GOPer Gillespie while trashing his opponent Northam.
“One person weighing in on this race is spare Trump and man-who-reads-Maxim-on-his-Kindle Donald Trump Jr.,” said Colbert. “Donald Jr. woke up this morning to urge people to get the vote out—but maybe he should have waited till he had his morning cup of hair gel, because he tweeted”:
The comedian added: “Which is a fine thing to tweet, except the election was today—not tomorrow #whoopsiedaisy #turnsoutericwasthesmartone.”
If that weren’t enough, Donald Trump Jr., who according to a Russian lawyer promised during a secret June 2016 Trump Tower meeting to re-evaluate the anti-Russia Magnitsky Act should his father prove victorious in the general election, did it again.
“Now, Don Jr. later repeated his mistake, tweeting a second time that Virginia voters should cast a ballot for Gillespie a day late,” said Colbert. “But then, realizing his mistake, he went back and… screwed it up again, because a few hours later he tweeted”:
“Vote Tody! I don’t know who ‘Tody’ is, but you should really vote for him,” joked Colbert. “This is rapidly devolving. I’m assuming his next tweet is gonna be, ‘Please vote for Ted Galoshes for Gov of Vagina! Also somebody help—I got my head stuck in my pocket!’”
Northam eventually won, by the way, with 53.9 percent of the vote. Great job, Don Jr.