President Donald Trump insulted Face the Nation host John Dickerson and Stephen Colbert is pissed.
As the Late Show host explained in his monologue on Monday, during his CBS colleague’s Sunday morning interview with the president, Trump not only spewed a number of fact-checkable lies and falsehoods but also told Dickerson that he likes to call his show “Deface the Nation.”
“Donald Trump, John Dickerson is a fair-minded journalist and one of the most competent people who will ever walk into your office, and you treat him like that?” Colbert told the president. Since Dickerson has “way too much dignity to trade insults with a president of the United States to his face,” Colbert decided to do it for him. “I sir, am no John Dickerson,” he said.
“When you insult one member of the CBS family, you insult us all!” Colbert began. “Mr. President, I love your presidency, I call it ‘Disgrace The Nation.’ You’re not the POTUS, you’re the ‘gloat-us.’ You’re the glutton with the button. You’re a regular ‘Gorge Washington.’ You’re the ‘presi-dunce’ but you’re turning into a real ‘prick-tator.’”
“Sir, you attract more skinheads than free Rogaine,” the host continued. “You have more people marching against you than cancer. You talk like a sign-language gorilla that got hit in the head.” And then the kicker: “In fact, the only thing your mouth is good for is being Vladimir Putin’s cock holster.”
Perhaps he was trying to get all his best Trump burns out before his writers possibly go on strike starting tomorrow.
Colbert also recreated Trump’s CBS interview, sitting in for Dickerson and essentially mocking Trump to his face, with the help of some clever editing. When Trump told him, “I love your show,” Colbert replied, “I love your show, too. It’s hilarious.”