Stephen Colbert returned to The Late Show this week after a two-week vacation, and, given the constant chaos of the Trump administration, there was quite a bit he missed.
The comedian didn’t waste any time, ripping President Trump’s bizarre Hurricane Harvey response—wherein the commander in chief hawked a new line of USA hats, marveled at the size of the crowd he received, and failed to meet with a single victim of the devastating natural disaster during his first go-around—and the president’s creepy story about his 35-year-old daughter Ivanka, who he has a history of sexually objectifying, addressing him as “Daddy.”
Well, on Thursday, Colbert got around to covering Steve Bannon’s “conscious uncoupling” with the Trump administration.
“As so many things happened, I really missed the chance to talk about some big stuff—especially the exit of White House strategist (and Proactiv ‘before’ model) Steve Bannon,” cracked Colbert.
“Technically, I guess, Bannon wasn’t fired because on the day he left the administration issued a statement that said, ‘White House Chief of Staff John Kelly and Steve Bannon have mutually agreed today would be Steve’s last day,’” said Colbert. “Yes, it was a ‘mutual agreement.’ The same way my college girlfriend and I ‘mutually agreed’ that she’d be happier having sex with Gary.”
The reason for Colbert’s Bannon focus is that the former chief White House strategist (and current Breitbart czar) will be sitting down for his first post-breakup interview with Charlie Rose on Sunday’s 60 Minutes—a show on the same network as The Late Show.
In a preview clip of the exchange, Bannon (who identifies as a Catholic) lashed out at the Catholic Church—and Cardinal Timothy Dolan—for supporting DACA.
“The Catholic Church has been terrible about this. The bishops have been terrible about this. By the way, you know why? You know why?!” said a red-faced Bannon. “Because, unable to really come to grips with the problems in the church, they need illegal aliens. They need illegal aliens to fill the churches. It’s obvious on the face of it.”
“Yeah, it’s obvious on the face of it that the church is just cynically welcoming in strangers who desperately need help so the bishops can get into heaven. The fix is in. They’re just buttering up the big guy,” fired back Colbert, an avowed Catholic and Sunday School teacher.
Bannon also defended President Trump’s heavily criticized reaction to the neo-Nazi march on Charlottesville, with the president stating there was violence “on many sides” and “good people” on both sides.
“By the way, after the Charlottesville situation—that’s what I told John Kelly—I was the only guy that came out and tried to defend him. I was the only guy that said, ‘He’s talking about something that’s… taking it up to a higher level,’” muttered Bannon.
“Yeah, he’s definitely taking it to a higher level. I’d say his support is about up there. Right around here,” said Colbert, delivering the Nazi salute. “Or over here,” he added, delivering another mock Nazi salute. “Somewhere up there.”