Stephen Colbert was on vacation last week. And he missed a lot.
While he was down in the Bahamas, all of the non-Jewish presidential candidates spoke at AIPAC. A deadly terror attack rocked Brussels and reverberated here in the States. And, of course, Donald Trump and Ted Cruz got into a fight about their wives.
But all Colbert wanted to talk about at the top of his show Monday night was the bird that landed on Bernie Sanders’s lectern at a rally in Washington.
“What are the odds that a bird would be attracted to an old man who looks like he has bread in his pockets?” Colbert asked. “Of course, this is not necessarily a sign that Bernie is the chosen one. It is spring. Birds are everywhere. In fact, I’ve got a bird right here in the studio who’s going to help me sing a happy song about spring.”
With that, a cartoon bird flew onto the Ed Sullivan Theater’s stage. But instead of singing, he told Colbert he wanted to talk about “America’s vanishing middle class.”
“How about we sing about how 1 percent of the birds at America’s parks get 99 percent of the bird seed?” the bird asked. “You know, far too many birds in America cannot even afford food to regurgitate into the mouths of their young. Join the revolution! Feel the bird!”
But, asked by Colbert if he’s voting for Sanders, the bird replied, “My heart is with Bernie, but I’m voting for Trump.”
Why Trump? “My whole family could nest in his hair.”