OFF THE RESERVATION

Stephen Colbert Savages Alex Jones: ‘This Is Why You Don’t Mix Steroids with Peyote!’

The ‘Late Show’ host did a deep dive into the conspiracy theory site InfoWars during his Wednesday night monologue.

As he does on a nightly basis, Stephen Colbert opened his Late Show monologue on Wednesday with some jokes at President Donald Trump’s expense. But this time, he got a little philosophical about it.

“I hope that doesn’t upset Donald Trump, because he’s a bit of a hothead, loose cannon, powder keg, dump truck, which is why it’s important for him to be counseled by people who are even-keeled,” the host told his audience.

“Unfortunately, he's talking to some jerk named Alex Jones, the far-right conspiracy theorist who,” as The New York Times’ Jim Rutenberg reported this week, “is apparently taking on a new role as occasional information source and validator for Trump, with whom he sometimes speaks on the phone.” Trump also reportedly called Jones after the election to thank him for “fighting so hard for Americans, and for Americanism,” in Jones’s words.

Noting that it’s “good to have a variety of voices in a time of crisis,” Colbert added, “let’s see what this guy’s like” before showing a clip that revealed just how unhinged the InfoWars creator really is.

“This is why you don’t mix steroids with peyote!” Colbert shouted into the camera, imitating Jones. “I don’t know how to explain this, but just watching that clip, he somehow got spittle on me.”

“Now, if you’ve been living underground for the last few years, you probably listen to Alex Jones,” Colbert joked. “But for the rest of you, he runs a conspiracy website called InfoWars. The name’s easy to remember: Just imagine info, and then imagine someone at war with it.”

Over the next few minutes, he exposed some of Jones’s more disturbing conspiracy theories, like the one about how juice boxes turn men into women. As Colbert said, “A couple of sips, and suddenly your Capri-Sun is your Capri-Daughter!”

“Now, obviously, it’s not fair to judge a guy on one isolated, dumb-ass clip, so here’s a bunch of them,” Colbert said before showing a montage of Jones on gay frogs, 9/11 trutherism, Sandy Hook and Orlando as false flag operations, and more kookiness.

“So to recap, one of the counselors to the president knows what it sounds like when a monkey fucks a football,” Colbert said. “But Alex Jones is not content with talking to the leader of the free world. He’s also hoping InfoWars will qualify for a White House press credential. So, to those of you working in the White House press pool, you’re going to want to get some earplugs and a poncho.”