Throughout this election season, Stephen Colbert has used his “Hungry for Power Games” segment to give each candidate their due when the time comes for them to step aside. On Wednesday night, it was Ted Cruz’s turn.
But first Colbert had to give a quick mention to some guy named John Kasich. “Yes, John Kasich has ended his bid for the White House,” Colbert said. “He may be gone. But he is not—who are we talking about again? Kasich, yes. Let’s take a look back at all the triumphs of John Kasich’s campaign. There was Ohio....and he’s gone.”
“Sadly, even in losing, tribute Kasich has lost,” Colbert continued. “Because last night’s big loser was Texas senator and half-kissed frog prince Ted Cruz, who joined the ranks of the fallen.” The host commended Cruz for going “down swinging,” especially following his concession speech when he elbowed his wife in the head.
Looking back on the Cruz campaign, Colbert noted that “though he captured 11 states, he failed to win lasting alliances.” John Boehner called him “Lucifer in the flesh.” His old college roommate said, “Ted Cruz is a nightmare of a human being.” And then there was Cruz’s own Republican colleague Lindsey Graham, who memorably remarked, “If you killed Ted Cruz on the floor of the Senate and the trial was in the Senate, nobody would convict you.”
“So if Ted Cruz is ever killed, we can narrow the suspects down to someone who has met him,” Colbert joked. And just when you thought he was finished piling on the fallen candidate, a cartoon version of Donald Trump emerged to add insult to injury.
Colbert gave Trump the last word: “Lyin’ Ted is lyin’ in the ground. He ran a tough race, but he was really bad at it. And his father killed J.F.K. Pathetic.”