On Tuesday, the Trump administration attempted to shift the national conversation towards something that is apparently less politically controversial than health care or Russian interference in America’s elections: climate change. Or, as the president put it, “energy independence” through the use of “clean coal.”
“I know ‘clean coal’ sounds like an oxymoron,” Stephen Colbert said in response Tuesday night. “But so does President Trump.”
Insisting the “clean coal” is a totally real thing, the Late Show host added, “Back in high school, I had a girlfriend in Canada, she was a clean coal miner. And she told me that they mine the clean coal and then put it on that silver bullet train and they send it to Narnia where the Keebler elves use it to power the pump on the fountain of youth.”
When you burn clean coal, Colbert continued, “it actually makes the air cleaner, so clean, you can see right through the air, just like you can see through his lie.”
To drive his point home, Colbert revived the animated Woodsy Owl, who has been telling people to “give a hoot, don’t pollute” on behalf of the United States Forest Service since the early 1970s.
Under President Trump, however, he has a different message: “You are not legally required to give a hoot. So, go pollute. Fuck the planet!”