“It was almost like a modern-day Caligula,” said Leonardo DiCaprio of his upcoming film, The Wolf of Wall Street, in theaters Dec. 25.
Indeed the film, directed by the great Martin Scorsese and adapted from a memoir by Jordan Belfort, is a non-stop carnival of sex and drugs. It tells the tale of Belfort (DiCaprio), a lascivious stockbroker exploiting the volatile market for penny stocks in the late ‘80s and early ‘90s who, when he’s not playing the role of a Wolfe-ian “master of the universe,” burns off steam—and piles of cash—by sexing and ingesting everything in sight, ranging from prostitutes to pills.
“How the fuck else would you do this job?” asks Belfort’s shady mentor, played by Matthew McConaughey. “Cocaine and hookers, my friend.”
Belfort is joined in his depravities by his teethy boy Friday, Donnie Azoff (Jonah Hill)—much to the chagrin of his wife Naomi, played by fetching Aussie newcomer Margot Robbie. Eventually, Belfort finds himself in the middle of a huge securities fraud and money laundering case involving himself, the mob, and a Swiss banker, played by The Artist’s Jean Dujardin.
But the movie is, first and foremost, about capturing the debauchery of the period; one in which these so-called “masters of the universe” wreaked havoc on the world.
So, without further ado, here are the craziest moments in The Wolf of Wall Street.
1. The film opens inside the Manhattan office of Belfort’s financial firm, Stratton Oakmont. There, Belfort and his cronies are tossing a “midget” into a target in the center of the office. Whoever hits the bull’s-eye will be awarded $25,000.
2. Moments later, Belfort is seen receiving road head from his second wife Naomi while speeding in his white Ferrari.
3. Belfort does lines of coke off a hooker’s ass in a hotel room while slapping it repeatedly.
4. Belfort does coke at a strip club while two strippers are crawling all over him, tonguing his ear.
5. Back in the office of Stratton Oakmont, Belfort and his merry band of brokers give their female sales assistant $10,000 to shave her head in the middle of the office, as the entire floor yells, “SCALP! SCALP!” The sales assistant has agreed to use the money for breast implants.
6. Moments later, an entire platoon of half-naked strippers busts into the office, along with a full marching band, to celebrate a great week. The strippers are tackled left and right by giddy brokers.
7. A broker named Ben Jensen receives a blowjob from a female sales assistant in a clear glass elevator as much of the office looks on.
8. That same female sales assistant is then seen in a three-way with Belfort and Azoff on an office desk, with Azoff taking her from behind while Belfort receives oral.
9. Belfort explains that on occasion, the brokers at Stratton Oakmont even have sex with what he calls “pink sheet” hookers—those that cost less than $100/night. Cut to one of the brokers having sex with one of said “pink sheet” women in the middle of the office as everyone cheers him on.
10. One drug that the brokers love most is Quaaludes. At Belfort’s gigantic Hamptons estate Azoff, completely wrecked on ludes, takes his penis out in the middle of a party after seeing the stunning Naomi (Robbie) and starts whacking off in front of her/everyone before being tackled by a female partygoer.
11. Belfort, who is married to another woman, finally sleeps with Naomi. It lasts all of 11 seconds. Embarrassed, he then “warms himself up” and goes for round two.
12. It’s all over between Belfort and his wife when she catches him doing lines of coke off Naomi’s chest in the back of a limo.
13. Naomi, now living with Belfort, walks in on their gay butler engaged in a 20-strong orgy of men having sex all over their high-rise Manhattan apartment.
14. Belfort plans to marry Naomi and has his bachelor party in Vegas. The flight from New York to Vegas is a mile-high orgy packed with about 50 hookers, and brokers having sex in every other airplane seat.
15. Belfort also employs a dominatrix on the side and in one scene, engages in some kinky S&M with a leather-clad woman. She sticks a candle in his ass before removing it and dripping candle wax all over his back as Belfort yells, “Wolfie!” (his safe word).
16. After a fight between Belfort and Naomi, the latter gets the broker all worked up in their baby daughter’s bedroom, spreading her legs to reveal that she’s not wearing any panties while purring, “Daddy…” to him.
17. Azoff swallows a live fish in the middle of the trading floor to penalize one of the brokers for jerking around and feeding his fish instead of prepping for the firm’s big Steve Madden IPO.
18. Belfort, zonked out on ludes, dry humps a stewardess during a flight to Geneva. He has to be restrained in his seat with several seatbelts after.
19. Belfort has sex with his wife, Naomi, on top of a pile of money on their bed.
20. Belfort, zonked out on ludes, goes into “cerebral palsy” mode, and struggles to drive back to his home to break up an important phone call. There, he finds Azoff, also zonked out on ludes, and they get in a bizarre, drugged-out fight.
21. When Belfort’s tough-guy accomplice, Brad (Jon Bernthal), gets out of jail for helping the broker smuggle money, he’s greeted by a glorious yacht party where everyone is seen waving their hands to Naughty By Nature’s “Hip Hop Hooray,” before Belfort spills a briefcase of cash on Brad and he’s attacked by eight prostitutes on the deck of the ship.