The Bruno Diaries
As Dancing With the Stars kicks off, its outrageous judge, Bruno Tonioli, provides exclusive commentary on the contestants—from Lil’ Kim’s “tushie” to that charming Teletubby Steve Wozniak.
Very interesting show tonight. I think that a lot of people that have a lot of work to do--the potential is there, but obviously we have ten weeks left so there is a long way to go.
Quite a few dancers embarrassed themselves. I mean Steve Wozniak, bless him, oh Steve the Teletubby. Oh my darling!—he really looked like a Teletubby. His performance was really delirious, but, you know, he came out and had a go of it. He can’t dance, but he did his best. And I think Jewel’s going to give her husband, Ty Murray, a little bit of a hard time after his performance—Ty was stiff as a plank, jerky, and with his legs spread apart it looked like he was still sort of straddling a bull. But he seems to be a hard worker so there may be more hope for him than there is for Steve-O.
Ty Murray was stiff as a plank, jerky, and with his legs spread apart it looked like he was still sort of straddling a bull.
Steve-O was hysterical, I mean I have never seen anything like it. He put so much slapstick on that waltz, that it was really a creation. It seemed like it belonged in a gallery next to a Jeff Koons, it was so bizarre. But it was entertaining. He has some performing ability, and he’s young and has some sense of rhythm somewhere. I’m looking forward to seeing what he’s going to come up with next week. I think there’s a lot of comedic potential there.
About Jewel and Nancy O’Dell dropping out: These things happen. That’s show business. If you do this type of show, you have stand-ins ready to take over if there is an injury. The new girl, [ Bachelor reject] Melissa—I think what she did in two days was quite incredible. She started rehearsal two days ago, and that is a revelation. She was radiant, she was beautiful, so that was something I was really surprised about. Melissa was a find.
The girls, overall, weren’t too bad. Obviously all of them could stand to do better. Lil’ Kim—who really worked wonders with that tushie—did very well. Sassy, sexy, she’s really, really a bundle of fun. Her timing was a little bit off but the performance was good. She needs to be sharper, a little bit cleaner. But she gave a feisty performance. There’s a lot there to be saved in the future.
Gilles Marini was the outstanding performer of the night, who really came out and sold his performance, and he was overall, for me, the one you really remembered. We never thought he would come out with something so strong as his dance in Week One, especially not when he’s struggling with tendonitis. But then again, when you start strong the first week, the expectations are very high for the rest of the season.
But I wasn’t harsh tonight—I was truthful. You have to tell the dancers how to improve themselves, and see if they take the comments we give them and come back and deliver upon them. This is a much wider playing field with different contestants we have this season than we have ever had before. It makes it more exciting because we’ll see who will live up to the challenges we throw them—makes it much more interesting as a show. It’s in the very early days of the season. They need to do a couple of rounds of both the Latin and the ballroom dances before you can tell how good everyone is. It’s a bit early. And I expect next week to be even better
Bruno Tonioli has been a popular judge on all seasons of Strictly Come Dancing , the UK version of Dancing with the Stars , as well as a guest judge on the Australian version. He is a top choreographer and has worked on countless films, plays, music videos, commercials, concerts, trade shows and television series with such music icons as Elton John, Michael Jackson, Freddie Mercury, Tina Turner and Paul McCartney.