Thousands of Bees Dead in Oregon Lot

The sky is falling—again! In the latest sign of the impending apocalypse, an estimated 25,000 dead and dying bumble bees were found in an Oregon parking lot this week. Since the tiny black and yellow corpses were clustered under linden trees lining the lot, officials predict that a toxic insecticide is to blame for the carnage. “I’ve never seen anything like that,” said Dan Hilburn, plant director at Oregon’s Agriculture Department, noting that the department is investigating ways to keep the bees, which are needed to pollinate other plants, away from the poisonous trees. “We’re not coming up with a lot of good options,” he admitted.