The pee tape is real. And the accompanying song is surprisingly catchy.
Emin Agalarov, the Russian pop star-slash-oligarch offspring who helped arrange Donald Trump Jr.’s infamous Trump Tower meeting with a Kremlin-linked lawyer promising damaging information about Hillary Clinton, is leaning in to his bit part in one of the most surreal political scandals of the Trump era with his newest music video.
The video, filmed for Agalarov’s single “You Got Me,” riffs on the alleged existence of a kompromat videotape in Kremlin’s possession depicting what a former FBI director once characterized as “prostitutes peeing on each other in Moscow.”
Among other things, the video features a Donald Trump look-alike partying in a gilded hotel room with bikini-clad pageant contestants, Emin clandestinely slipping “Ivanka Trump” a briefcase of intel, a faux Stormy Daniels ripping vodka shots in a club with a faux Hillary Clinton, and Kim Jong Un as a computer hacker erasing all evidence that Trump was ever there.
“I don’t wanna wake up / Not knowing where you sleep tonight / The things that you told me / Made it so hard to read your mind,” croons Agalarov over the mellow strummings of a guitar as he meets with the president at Trump Tower, before retiring to a garish hotel suite. “Wish that you at least could be honest / I wish that you told me the truth.”
Shortly thereafter, a trio of bikini-clad beauty pageant contestants—presumably competing in Miss Universe, where Agalarov and Trump developed a fast friendship in 2013—join the pair, jumping on the hotel bed in a joyful pillow fight. Offscreen, a computer hacker Kim Jong-Un erases Trump from the video.
As the “chorus”—really just Agalarov murmuring “MmmMmmHmmmMmmHmmmmm,” as if through duct tape—plays, the Russian pop star is revealed to be at the center of a vast and intricate conspiracy to trade intelligence with the president, porn star-slash-alleged Trump mistress Stormy Daniels, presidential adviser Jared Kushner, and first daughter Ivanka Trump (whose lookalike’s flowing side-bangs give her more of a Tiffany vibe). Also, a truly unrecognizable red-haired version of Facebook founder and Russian dupe Mark Zuckerberg is there, rounding out the rogue’s gallery of players in the weirdest of international conspiracies.
Even Hillary Clinton shows up in the end, taking shots of vodka in a Moscow nightclub with Daniels, who later poses for a selfie with Agalarov, Ivanka, and the president of the United States.
Agalarov—a 38-year-old Russian-Azeri pop star whose father is a billionaire real-estate developer—is a longtime friend and admirer of the president, who once appeared in a cameo in one of the singer’s previous music videos. Through music publicist and producer Rob Goldstone, a bon vivant booster of the Agalarov clan, the pop star offered Don Jr. unspecified evidence of malfeasance that “would incriminate Hillary and her dealings with Russia.”
“This is obviously very high level and sensitive information but is part of Russia and its government’s support for Mr. Trump—helped along by Aras and Emin,” Goldstone wrote on June 3, 2016.
Don Jr.’s delighted response 17 minutes later—“If it’s what you say, I love it”—would eventually lead to a meeting that has been central to the special counsel investigation of possible collusion between the Trump campaign and the Russian government to undermine the 2016 presidential election.