EARTH MOTHER

Why Is Kate Middleton’s Nature Video So Damn Annoying?

It’s a lovely time of year. The Princess of Wales just wants us to get out there and enjoy it.

As entirely unoffensive positions go, “Spring is nice” is hard to beat.

So it is hard to put your finger on exactly why Kate Middleton’s new video celebrating spring as (checks notes) the “season of rebirth, of hope and new beginnings” is so grating.

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It’s not just the gloating, although there is something jarring about the sight of Kate, and her insanely privileged family, frolicking on their extensive landholdings while simultaneously cosplaying as totally normal members of the middle class.

The performative happiness of William and Kate as a straightforward couple who love hiking is similarly difficult to stomach, not least because we all know that the two of them are a) locked in a brutal reputational death match with William’s brother, Prince Harry; b) have made it clear they will never forgive Harry, as Harry reminded us in his recent BBC interview; and c) won’t lend you a dab of lip gloss in a pinch.

On top the main course of hypocrisy—an inevitable undercurrent in so much of what the royals do, owing to their determination to represent themselves as a normal family—there is a side serving of patronizing language that could make the most committed royalist’s toes curl.

Kate, who has credited her connection with nature as being an important part of her recovery from cancer, kicks off her voiceover with a subtle reminder of that fact, declaring: “Over the past year, nature has been my sanctuary. The natural world’s capacity to inspire us, to nurture us and help us heal and grow is boundless, and has been understood for generations.”

At the risk of being committed for treason, boundless? Is it?

As Kate speaks in her dulcet upper middle class British tones, a drone sweeps over the landscape of the British Isles, from the West Coast of Scotland, where the couple had a lovely recent mini-break, to the woods that surround their gorgeous home in Windsor, to a rather delightful, cherry-blossomed street in Kate’s old stomping ground of Chelsea, just down the road from their spacious London pad, Kensington Palace.

In comments that could have been lifted from a 1990s speech by the then-Prince Charles in his tree-hugging days, Kate then says, to a background of artful time-lapses and blossom detail: “It is through nature that we can fully understand the true interconnectedness of all things, the importance of balance and the importance of renewal and resilience.”

Again, is it?

Kate continues burbling in this enthusiastic kindergarten hippie teacher vein for the remainder of the video, as she and William celebrate their happy marriage with lots of hugs, meaningful three-quarter profile shots of William’s beard and lingering imagery of their hands making brief but, crucially, non-damaging contact with flowers.

Take only pictures, leave only footprints, and all that.

Many of the turns of phrase are what you would expect an AI chatbot raised on a diet of Eat, Pray, Love and inspiring online quotes to churn out, including: “Let us reconnect to nature and celebrate a new dawn within our hearts,” and, “The outside world quietly awakens with new life, and there comes a sense of optimism, anticipation, and positive, hopeful change.”

Kate drifts by in floaty dresses, but it seems William neglected to stop at the wardrobe department; in one meaningful clifftop shot he seems to be wearing a suit.

Ultimately, Kate’s real advice for us seems to be the same as the war cry of all lovely middle-class mummies to their kids: Put down your phones and get outside.

In case you missed this (and Kate resists actually saying it) a written message published alongside the video mentions “the importance of the connection between humanity and nature” in the context of “the challenges of an increasingly complex and digital world.”

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Kate Middleton Says She’s ‘Cancer Free’: ‘What a Relief’

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In many ways, this a sequel to last year’s video in which Kate announced she was in remission from cancer.

The bad news, for those of us who find this video a tiny bit smug, is that this is just part one of a four-part “Mother Nature” series, with one video also due for each of summer, fall, and winter.

Kate writes: “The Mother Nature series is a reminder and reflection of the beauty and complexity of the human experience. It is a tribute to the lessons we can learn from nature, helping us to foster our own growth, strengthen our bonds with the world around us and each other.”

This would be a marvelous advertisement for, say, a national park, or Anthropologie.

But the next queen urging us all to reimagine our lives in the context of Gaia? It all makes one rather nostalgic for the days when the royals contented themselves with opening village halls.

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Tom SykesEuropean Editor at Large

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