The latest health fad is mandatory. During economic recessions, "people tend to drink less, smoke fewer cigarettes and lose weight," Alice Thomson writes in a stubbornly cheerful column in The London Times. "They enroll in higher education, the air is cleaner, the roads are less crowded." Suicides and cancer rates may rise, but they're more than cancelled out by a decline in car accidents and heart disease. Plus, there will be sales! "Shops on the high street have increased the number of bargains—even toothbrushes are now discounted," which means, naturally, that you should be smiling more than ever.