FANTASTIC

Woody Sics Lobsters on Madoff

Those who dream of getting even with Madoff will get a kick out of Woody Allen’s latest “Shouts and Murmurs” column in The New Yorker, for which he invents two victims of Bernie who drop dead after learning they’re bankrupt. Reincarnated as lobsters awaiting their demise in a posh New York City restaurant, the pair passes the time reminiscing, until in walks their nemesis—and he has a hankering for crustacean. Outraged at the sheer injustice of it all, the lobsters manage to topple their tank and assault the Ponzi schemer. With their rose-colored pincers firmly wrapped around Madoff’s ample proboscis, the lobsters demand a guilty plea and get their wish.