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Lock Up Your Daughters, Australia! Harry's In Town

 “Lock up your daughters Tony Abbott, Prince Harry is heading down under to party,” said Melbourne’s Herald Sun ahead of the young royal's visit to Australia, which is now well and truly under way.

But Mr Abbott - who described himself during the recent election campaign as “the guy with the not bad looking daughters” - today ignored that advice to introduce  his wife Margie, and two of their three daughters, Frances and Bridget, to Harry.

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WILLIAM WEST

Another newspaper reported the Prince's visit today by saying, “Ladies, Prince Harry is in town… but you probably already know that. Thus begins a frenzied 24-hour blitz by the broads to somehow, anyhow, get the attention of the most desirable ginger in the cosmos.”

Pippa has written a new travel piece for The Telegraph. Tom Sykes attempts to decode the secret messages hidden within it

Pippa Middleton is turning into the world’s hardest working freelancer, and today she has another work in The Telegraph, a travel piece from the Austrian town of Kitzbühel, for which she has somehow been persuaded to dress up in traditional Tyrolean dress.

The Telegraph has wisely decided to make the most of the no-doubt towering fee it has shelled out to hire Pippa by also running a gallery of Pippa in the bust-enhancing peasant wear.

However I am more intrigued by the writing – as I increasingly think there is a kind of secret code to Pippa’s journalism.

So the Royalist proudly presents, “Pippa’s latest piece, the text and the sub-text”.

Bare-Knuckle

Sinead-Miley Feud Escalates

O’Connor tells Cyrus ‘to take five minutes between g-string changes’ to delete tweets mocking O’Connor’s past mental-health problems.

The bizarre showbiz feud between Miley Cyrus and Irish singer Sinead O’Connor kicked up a gear Friday morning, with O’Connor threatening to call in the lawyers after Cyrus posted a series of tweets that O’Connor wrote when she was having a nervous breakdown. Cyrus mocked O’Connor’s mental-health difficulties by comparing her to Amanda Bynes.

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Miley and Sinead: not really very similar. (Fred Tanneau/AFP/Getty; Ethan Miller/Getty)

The row began when O'Connor wrote a “loving” and “motherly” open letter to the young star Thursday warning Cyrus that being “naked and licking sledgehammers” in her videos would end up destroying her career and that she was being “prostituted” by her record label.

Bam!

Another Royal Wedding?

Harry and Cressida Allow Themselves To Be Pictured Together

Friends of the young royals say Harry and Cressida are getting more relaxed about going public

One of the defining characteristics of the relationship of Prince Harry and Cressida Bonas has been the extraordinary lengths the couple have gone to in order to avoid being photographed together.

Prince Harry and Cressida Bonas

Splash News and Pictures

However, over the last few days the young royal and his girlfriend have been out and about together in full public view in London, making the most of their last few days together before Harry heads off to Australia on official duties, representing his grandmother at the Aussie equivalent of Fleet Week.

The couple were pictured together leaving the Prince of Wales Theatre in London's West End after watching the musical 'The Book of Mormon.'

The Irish singer Sinead O'Connor has written a ‘loving’ 1,000-word open letter to Miley, warning her not to ‘prostitute’ herself for the benefit of record execs, reports Tom Sykes.

The story goes that when the Irish singer Sinead O’Connor was a young girl looking for a recording contract, a record executive told her that, on the basis of her lovely long hair, she was a good commercial proposition, and therefore he would sign her.

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Miley and Sinead, not really the same. We think you’ll agree. (Al Powers/Powers Imagery/Invision /AP; PicSol/Retna Ltd/Corbis)

Outraged, the feisty Sinead promptly went out and shaved her head—and became one of the biggest-selling and most outspoken female artists of her generation.

Nice Work If You Can Get It

Beckham Strips to Undies

David shows he really has got golden balls as he leaps across London’s skyline.

He looks pretty good, doesn't he?

We are never averse to a photo of Mr. David Beckham in his skivvies, so thanks are due to the sharp-eyed snapper who papped the former soccer star hard at work shooting his latest H&M ad—prancing around on top of an old brewery on Brick Lane, in London's East End.

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via Instagram

The athlete, as one has come to expect, becomes disrobed in the short film—which will be screened in the U.K. in February.

Gangsta?

Rihanna On Diana

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AP

The pop star tells of her admiration for Diana’s style.

Rihanna reckons that Princess Diana was gangsta—when it came to clothing, at least.

Although most of us might have thought that Diana had a very conservative, demure look compared with the pop star’s, Rihanna tells the new issue of Glamour magazine: "You know who is the best who ever did it? Princess Diana. She was like—she killed it. Every look was right.

"She was gangsta with her clothes. She had these crazy hats. She got oversize jackets. I loved everything she wore!"

Camille Paglia drew a comparison between Rihanna and Princess Diana earlier this year, saying, they both had a "ravishingly seductive flirtation" with the world's media and used every photo opportunity to convey "allure, defiance, or revenge."

Paglia said, "Not since Diana rocketed from shy, plump kindergarten aide to lean, mean fashion machine has there been such a ravishing seductive flirtation with the world press."

Pippa Middleton and her boyfriend Nico Jackson look, well, relaxed in each other's company in the back of a black taxi, leaving the 50th anniversary party for London nightclub Annabel’s.

Pippa Middleton and Nico Jackson

Pippa Middleton and Nico Jackson pictured leaving Annabel's after attending their 50th anniversary party in London on September 28, 2013. (EROTEME.CO.UK)

But are they close enough to tie the knot? Pippa was hinting that could be the case in her most recent newspaper column, writing, "Next stop, a flower-arranging course. Maybe I’ll be a DIY bride?"

 

Down Under

Prince Harry Will Meet Public In Sydney

Harry is landing in Australia on Saturday, the first stop in an eight-day tour of the country

Prince Harry is to take part in a public 'meet and greet' when he arrives in Sydney on Saturday, as part of his visit to attend the International Fleet Review.

The Sydney Morning Herald reports that the "walk-through will take place after he steps off the navy ship HMAS Leeuwin and before he attends an official engagement to meet dozens of young Australians with Prime Minister Tony Abbott at Kirribilli House".

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Chris Jackson / Getty Images

Harry is to be the guest of honor in Oz for a week of naval celebrations marking the 100th anniversary of the Royal Australian Navy's first entry of the fleet into Sydney harbor.

The celebrations will feature more than 40 warships, 16 tall ships and 8,000 sailors from 19 nations. Captain Wales, as Harry is known in the British Army, takes the salute on behalf of the queen.

It's Harry's first "official" visit to Oz, but he was last there in 2003 during his gap-year break when he worked on an outback ranch. 

The Royalist unearths a year 2000 interview in which remarriage is not ruled out by Andrew or Fergie

We are forced by events - namely Fergie pointedly refusing to rule out remarriage to 'my Prince' Andrew - to revisit the famous year 2000 interview with Tatler in which Andrew said he might consider remarriage, and Fergie chimed in her agreement.

In the interview with Tatler, Prince Andrew said: "We are not just doing it for the children. We are doing it for our own benefit too," before adding, "I don't rule remarriage out and I certainly don't rule it in. If ever the opportunity arose, I do not know what I would do, as it is not in the plan."

The duchess told Geordie Greig, the editor of Tatler: "There has been no discussion on remarriage or reconciliation or any other such word ... I simply say if it should happen, great. It is not in, nor is it ruled out."

She added: "The love is still very much there, just in a different form ... Our situation at Sunninghill is quite extraordinary and very original."

Cock-up or crass exploitation? A poster for the new Diana movie has been posted at the Paris tunnel where she died

Having already been slated for being as bad as a film can get, the makers of the Diana movie now appear to be out for the award of 'crassest advertising campaign ever'. Astonishingly, they have posted an ad for the film at the entrance of the Pont d'Alma tunnel where Diana was killed.

Diana Poster

A movie poster of "Diana" is seen near the "Flame of Liberty" statue (left) and the Pont de l'Alma tunnel (R) where Diana, Princess of Wales, died in a road crash in 1997, on September 28, 2013. (Charles Platiau/Reuters)

Unbelievable and extraordinary display of tactlessness...but should we be surprised?

Peter Bradshaw in The Guardian wrote of the film:

Fergie did nothing to quash rumors of remarriage when asked about the controversial subject this weekend, reports Tom Sykes.

Someone hide the newspapers from Prince Philip! For it appears his red-headed anathema really could be coming back into the royal fold.

Sarah Ferguson

Sarah Ferguson (Stan Honda, AFP / Getty Images)

For although the cynics might have scoffed at the rumors that Fergie and Prince Andrew could remarry, they will find it harder to do so now that no less a well-informed personage than Her Fergieness herself has added fuel to that particular fire.

For, over the weekend, Fergie, who was appearing at a kids literary festival, promoting her new book, was apparently asked directly by a reporter from The Daily Telegraph whether she and Andrew, the queen’s second son, intended to formally reconcile, and, rather than ruling out such a prospect with a robust, ‘No’, somewhat coyly replied, “He’s still my handsome prince, he’ll always be my handsome prince.”

Previous royal christenings have been held in the music room at Buckingham Palace, but William and Kate want a more normal setting

In a significant break with tradition, Prince George will be christened at The Chapel Royal, a smal private chapel located in St James's Palace, rather than in the music room at Buckingham Palace where previous generations of royal heirs have been baptised.

The ceremony will take place on October 23rd, and, as with previous royal christenings, photographs will be released to the media shortly afterwards.

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Michael Middleton//TRH The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, via AP

The service will be presided over by the Archbishop of Canterbury, the head of the Church of England.

Just What every New Married Couple Needs

William and Kate's New Conjugal Coat of Arms

New heraldic emblems unveiled

Here's one for heraldry boffins only: The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have a new Conjugal Coat of Arms which will, we are informed, "represent them in heraldic terms as a married couple".

The Conjugal Coat of Arms was approved this year by the Queen and is being shown publicly for the first time today.

Conjugal Coat of Arms

PA/Landov

Its basically a combination of the separate shields of Kate and William.

The Duke’s shield on the left is his version of the Royal Coat of Arms granted to him by The Queen on his 18th birthday. On the right, The Duchess’s shield is from the Middleton family Coat of Arms, granted to the family in 2011 ahead of her marriage in an effort to pre-emptively posh up the family.

Er, Yes...

Is Pippa Badly Dressed?

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Getty

After a series of fashion misses, Tom Sykes asks whether its time for Pippa Middleton to call in the professionals.

After what Pippa wore to the big Vanity Fair party in London with Graydon Carter this week – a strangely ill-judged Matthew Williamson creation that combined a sparkly blue vest on top with a bizarre black and orange feathery dress  tacked onto the bottom - I am afraid the question cannot be avoided any longer.

Is Pippa Middleton really badly dressed? 

Yes, she looked splendid at her sister’s wedding in that McQueen gown, which did so much to flatter her natural shape (ahem), but, in recent months, Pippa has been clocking up many more misses than hits.

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David M. Benett

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The Royalist

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IN CASE YOU MISSED

Dissecting Cressida's Style

Dissecting Cressida's Style

Prince Harry’s girlfriend is the opposite of Kate Middleton in every way. Tom Sykes examines the evidence: a pair of Doc Martens, some dungarees, and that infamous scrunchie.

Sibling Rivalry

Mad About Pippa

Not A Stretch

Kate Flashes Tummy on First Solo Engagement Since Birth

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