Caroline Flack—the former host of British reality-TV show Love Island who took her own life last week—wrote about her “emotional breakdown” days before she died, but was advised not to publish it. The post has now been shared by her family, who said they wanted people to read it. The 40-year-old wrote that her “whole world and future was swept from under my feet” when she was arrested for allegedly assaulting her boyfriend. The message reads: “The reason I am talking today is because my family can’t take anymore. I’ve lost my job. My home. My ability to speak. And the truth has been taken out of my hands and used as entertainment... I’m so sorry to my family for what I have brought upon them and for what my friends have had to go through.” She also denied the domestic-abuse allegations against her, saying what happened was an “accident,” and said: “I’ve been having some sort of emotional breakdown for a very long time.” Flack was found dead in her London flat on Saturday, the day after she had been told that Britain’s Crown Prosecution Service was pursuing a case against her. A coroner ruled Wednesday that she died by suicide.

If you or a loved one are struggling with suicidal thoughts, please reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), or contact the Crisis Text Line by texting TALK to 741741