TIN-FOIL HATS

Cranks See UFOs, Little Green Men

In Mars footage.

In that teeming section of the Internet where dinosaurs walked with humans and Barack Obama’s nation of birth is still an open question, UFO watchers are carefully scanning images sent back by NASA’s Curiosity rover for signs that we are not alone. To the considerable disappointment of most gravity-stricken, jet pack–craving, laser gun–deprived humanoids, however, the blips and blotches mistaken for flying saucers and other extraterrestrial anomalies are more likely to be dead pixels or interstellar dust than another silicon-based life form. Among the more incredible finds amateur online Men in Black have made in the footage are possible evidence of a fossilized finger and a Martian sandal.