Reality TV’s power to warp reality became manifest when somebody in a crowd of gawkers handed Donald Trump a single dollar bill on the steps of the New York State Court building in lower Manhattan on the afternoon of Aug. 17, 2015.
Anyone aware of Trump’s actual finances, as reflected by his numerous bankruptcies, might have imagined that the self-described billionaire was being mocked. He had already been humbled by being required to report for jury duty after ducking it for nine years.
But the producers of The Apprentice had transformed him from a hustler operating out of an office with chipped furniture and musty-smelling carpet into a mogul, a fabulously wealthy demigod of business who alternately anointed and fired aspirants from a gleaming boardroom set designed by the producers of Survivor.
Among people who accepted the TV reality as real, Trump had come to represent money itself. And when he was handed the bill, he took out a pen, knowing without being told that he was being asked to autograph it.
He handed the bill back with the deliberately distinctive signature he has since affixed to a host of executive orders in his real-life role as president, which, unfortunately, is reality at its most consequential.
Now, in a second term made all too real with bullying and bullets and bombs, Trump has decided he wants his signature on ALL paper currency, whether we want it or not. Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent announced the change on Thursday, saying it is in honor of the country’s 250th anniversary.
“There is no more powerful way to recognize the historic achievements of our great country and President Donald J. Trump than U.S. dollar bills bearing his name, and it is only appropriate that this historic currency be issued at the semiquincentennial,” Bessent said in the sycophantic departure from the actual that is the norm in Trump’s cabinet.
Trump will become the first sitting president in those 250 years to have his name on the currency. Bessent’s signature is already on the bills, as has been the case with all Secretaries of the Treasury.
Future currency will no longer feature the U.S. treasurer, as it has in the past. That position is currently held by Brandon Beach, a right-wing former Georgia State Senator and resolute election denier who was primarily known for having gone to the state capitol while symptomatic with COVID during the pandemic.
He thereby caused numerous colleagues to self-isolate. He insisted, “I am not a bad person.” His colleagues were forgiving enough to give him a blazer with a pattern of $100 bills as a going-away gift.
Trump said when appointing him last year that Beach would help usher in a “golden age.” Beach told the press that he would make sure there was gold in Fort Knox. Trump and Elon Musk had referred to conspiracy theories that there might not be. There was.
When they still featured his signature, Beach took to calling the bills bearing his signature “Beach Bucks.” They will now all be Donald Dollars—even the ones his family are not able to rake in, as they continue to amass billions during Trump’s second presidency.
Prior to Beach, every U.S. Treasurer since 1949 had been a woman. The first was Georgia Neese Clark Gray, an actress in New York who socialized with Charlie Chaplin until she returned home to Kansas to work in her father’s bank. She was politically active and an early backer of Harry Truman, who rewarded her with the appointment as Treasurer.
The last woman to hold the position was acting Treasurer Patricia Collins, who was already serving as Director of the Bureau of Printing and Engraving, and was the first woman to lead BEP. Appointed by former Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen, Collins was, by all accounts, a person whose name everyone should want to see on their money.
According to her Treasury Department biography, Collins is a retired Army colonel who served seven years in special operations, deploying to Iraq, Afghanistan, and the Balkans. She was the first woman to complete the Military Free Fall Jumpmaster Course, an intensive parachute training.
Between deployments in 2006, Collins lost a leg below the knee after being hit by a car while bicycling. She managed to return to duty for nine more years, deploying to Afghanistan and commanding a battalion. She competed in the triathlon at the 2016 Summer Paralympics.
After Beach was named Treasurer, Collins continued to head the Bureau of Printing and Engraving. She will supervise the production of the new bills Trump will sign.
Bad enough that Trump has put his name on federal savings accounts for newborns, a new class of U.S. Navy battleships, and the John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts.
Now, a person who earns an honest buck will face the possibility of it being one of the new bills signed by the perpetually dishonest grifter-in-chief.
If you do get currency bearing the signature that is all too familiar, not only from the most odious of Trump’s executive orders, but also from the now-infamous Epstein birthday card, you can always ask to exchange it.
Who wants money with that little Donald-to-Jeffrey pubic squiggle?
There is an alternative to going through the trouble of swapping out those Trump-stamped bills. It is legal to write on money absent fraudulent intent and without making it unusable. You can simply keep the bill and add a favorite verb to the name the president is insistent on plastering everywhere.
You could even write something like “F--- Trump.”
