President Superspreader Tells Fox's Favorite Doctor That He’s Breathing Easy. Are You?

The president is better! Or maybe not. Who knows?

Spoiler: Trump’s first on-camera interview since his abrupt return to the White House, with Tucker Carlson, did nothing to answer any of those questions, though we did get to see Trump lie and present half-truths himself.

It was one week ago that President Superspreader got into a helicopter on the south lawn in front of the White House and took off for Walter Reed Medical Center. Since then, we’ve heard doctors lying or presenting half-truths about Trump’s health. Was he on oxygen? No! Yes! Maybe! By Sunday he was either “not out of the woods” or “doing very well,” depending on whom you asked. When did he last test negative? None of your business!

So there’s been a lot of confusion about the president’s health. And who better to clear up confusion about the president’s health than Dr. Marc Siegel, the one who “wanted Hillary Clinton’s neurological records when she fainted in 2016 at an event,” called the World Health Organization “a bunch of alarmists” in February, and then wrote a pro-hydroxychloroquine opinion piece in June saying we needed “more science and less politics” when it came to Trump’s miracle cure of the month. Question for Fox News, so-called: Was Dr. Phil busy? What about Dr. Doom? Or Dr. Seuss?

I’ll admit that the idea the doctor would “conduct a medical evaluation and interview during the program” captured my imagination. Like so much during this presidency, it was tacky but sounded kind of fascinating. But like the virus “going away by Easter,” the medical exam was not real. I thought Trump would be in a hospital gown and that maybe Dr. Siegel would at least listen to his cough and perhaps give him a lollipop when it was over. There were no lollipops.

In fact, the A block of Tucker Carlson was Judge Box of Whine saying that Democrats want to pack the court and do other scary stuff (scarier, I guess, than the possibility of 400,000 dead Americans by the end of this year).

Then it was time for the medical exam, which included no actual examining. It was just Dr. Siegel, partisan hack, sitting in a studio in the anarchist jurisdiction of New York City and Trump sitting outside the White House—telemedicine without the medicine.

Trump declared “I didn’t have a problem with breathing.” Which is a bit odd, because his doctors finally admitted to giving him oxygen and also refused to tell reporters how his lung scans looked.

He said that “right now I’m medication-free.” Then a few minutes later, he said he was taking “I think really nothing. Ahh, we pretty much finished. Pretty much nothing.” So was it nothing or pretty much nothing? Because pretty much nothing is not the same as nothing.

And then there was Trump on being tested: “I have been retested and I know I’m at either the bottom of the scale or free.” Now, I am not a doctor, nor do I play one on television, and yet I am pretty sure that coronavirus tests are either positive or negative. So I’m not sure what he’s talking about here. But I am sure the White House keeps dodging questions about when he last tested negative.

And I am sure that Trump doesn’t want to quarantine. He wants to get back on the campaign trail since it’s only 25 days till the election, and also he is bored. He is trying to make it sound like he’s no longer contagious when all evidence points to the contrary. Thus the president hosting an event on the White House lawn Saturday for terrifying MAGA grifter Candace Owens.

We don’t know really anything about the president’s COVID recovery because the staffers in this White House, like the president himself, are liars. But there is one thing we do know, which is that the guy who paid $750 in federal income tax just got a free $100,000 dollar hospital stay courtesy of us, the suckers who actually pay federal income taxes.