The Lamest Intro Ever

Some award shows kick off with a tightly choreographed production number. Some with a comedic monologue. The SAG Awards? It kicked off Sunday night with a woman who sounds like the voicemail voice firing off cringe-inducing clichés while muzak played in the playground. “What a glamorous couple!” “30 Rock nominee!” “Nominees Tina Fey and Julia Stiles share some girl talk.” “Feel secure. Homeland’s Claire Danes is here.” And, of course, the kicker, “Ben Affleck, argo find your seat.”

I’m an Actor

It’s tradition for the SAG Awards to open with various A-listers giving testimonials about why they love acting and what the profession means to them. This year’s anecdotes were from the likes of Helen Hunt, Hal Holbrook, and Alfre Woodard. Some were funny: Jane Krakowski recalling being cast to play Chevy Chase’s niece at 12 years old—“Today I would be cast as his wife. In two years, I will play his mother.” Some were hilarious: Sofia Vergara remembering her father forbidding she go into the arts because she’d look like a hooker—“With these huge boobs that I inherited from your mother, I already look like a hooker.” Some were sweet…but a little boring: Chris Tucker paying tribute to Richard Pryor, who inspired him.

Anne Hathaway Wins (Again)

Anne Hathaway’s breathless acceptance speech at the Golden Globes was polarizing with critics. Did she fare better winning Best Supporting Actress at the SAGs? An opening joke about the guild’s dental coverage was followed by the standard story of the night—how she got her SAG card. She landed some good one-liners, like “I want to thank my mother for voting for me” (she’s an actress), and “I have the most amazing people repping me—and I can’t remember any of your names right now.” Plus, she gets major props for bringing up The Dark Knight Rises cast in her Les Miz speech, because her performance as Catowman was phenomenal.

Tina Fey Loves Amy Poehler

“I share this with my sweet friend Amy Poehler, who I’ve known for so long. I’ve stolen so many of your moves. Amy, I’ve known you since you were pregnant with Lena Dunham. And I love you.” Winning for Best Actress in a Comedy Series, Tina Fey proved, once again, why everyone wants to be best friends with her and Amy Poehler. (Bonus reason: She announced on the red carpet that fetch is actually happening. She’s developing Mean Girls: The Musical!)

The Real Plot of ‘Les Miz’

Anne Hathaway and Hugh Jackman helpfully break down the plot of Les Misérables for us in 2013 terms: “Wolverine is being chased by Gladiator. Catwoman gets knocked up and, for some ungodly reason goes to see Bellatrix LaStrange from Harry Potter and Borat. Then Wolverine agrees to raise Catwoman’s baby, and she grows up to star in Mamma Mia.”

Dick Van Dyke Is as Charming as Ever

Bert from Mary Poppins received a hearty, well-deserved standing ovation as he received the Lifetime Achievement Award from Alec Baldwin. Dick Van Dyke flashed his iconic, huge grin, cracked a few jokes about Mary Tyler Moore having the flu, commended his fellow actors on their philanthropy, and was just generally classy as hell.

Downton Abbey Shocks

The cast of Downton Abbey surprisingly beat the heavy-hitting ensembles of Mad Men, Boardwalk Empire, Breaking Bad, and Homeland for Best Ensemble in a Drama Series, and no one looked more shocked than the “Downtonians”—which, we learned from Mrs. Hughes’s (Phyllis Logan) speech, is what the cast call themselves. Plus, they looked so hot in modern clothes!

Jennifer Lawrence Gets Even More Likable

Need another reason to love Jennifer Lawrence? She revealed in her (witty, touching, almost perfect) acceptance speech for Best Actress that she received her SAG card for appearing in a MTV promo spot for My Super Sweet 16.

Jennifer Lawrence Bonus

Here is that Super Sweet 16 clip!

Argo Continues Its Sweep

When Ben Affleck was snubbed for a Best Director nomination at the Oscars, pundits said Argo’s chances of winning Best Picture were over, as no film had won the top award without its director receiving a nomination since Driving Miss Daisy in 1989. But after taking the top prizes at the Golden Globes, the Producers Guild Awards, and now the SAG Awards, Argo is looking more and more like the film to beat.