‘SO SCREWED’

Stephen Colbert Explains Why Trump Indictment Is Actually Good for Trump

The “Late Night” host swears Trump’s indictment is “good news for everybody—even him.”

On Thursday night, Stephen Colbert did the unthinkable: He said Donald Trump’s name. Since November 2020, the Late Show host has mostly refused to utter the former president’s name, and instead referred to him by a colorful array of nicknames, including Scooby Coup and Old Wack Donald.

But Thursday night was different because, as the host explained during his monologue, “literally three minutes before I walked out on this stage here, The New York Times reported a New York grand jury voted to indict former President Donald J. Trump.”

While Colbert admitted that he wasn’t sure this day would ever come, he also told viewers that he “didn’t know it would feel this good.” And while the former president probably isn’t digesting the news with a mouthful of Reddi-wip straight from the can, the way that Colbert did, the host only sees an upside to this latest development—including for Trump himself.

“This is good news for everybody—even him,” Colbert said. “He now gets to join his J6 Prison Choir. You know, they’re No. 1 on iTunes, baby. And you know what? He should see whether that grand jury will cut him a check for $130,000 because he is so screwed.”

“We will have more on this story as soon as I’m able to talk about it with a camera shooting me from the waist down,” Colbert promised.

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Jennifer M. Wood

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