SPEAKER OF THE WHO?

‘Who the Hell Is Mike Johnson?’: Stephen Colbert Exposes GOP’s New Speaker

“Johnson is now second in line to the presidency,” Stephen Colbert reminded viewers—then tried to figure out who the new House Speaker actually is.

It’s been more than three weeks since Kevin McCarthy (R-CA) was told to pack up his things as House Speaker. Now, after 21 days of fresh nominees for the job either backing out or lacking the popularity to get the job done, House Republicans finally managed to come together on Wednesday and unanimously vote to elect a new speaker. And that person is… Rep. Mike Johnson (R-LA).

“He is the most generic-sounding congressional leader since the election of Speaker James Kirkland Brand,” Stephen Colbert said on Wednesday. While The Late Show host may not think much of Johnson’s name, he did seem impressed by the fact that he received a unanimous vote from all 220 House Republicans who were present.

“Finally,” said Colbert. “A man who appeals to all factions of the Republican party: the MAGA faithful, the social conservatives, the white nationalists, and the horny Beetlejuice goblins.”

The fresh appointment puts Johnson second in line to the presidency, Colbert explained, “prompting news outlets to triumphantly proclaim: ‘Who is Rep. Mike Johnson?,’ ‘Who is Mike Johnson?,’ ‘Who is Speaker Nominee Mike Johnson?,’ and ‘5 Secrets to Reduce Belly Fat. Also, Who the Hell is Mike Johnson?’”

“So he’s a little innocuous,” Colbert continued. “He’s just another white guy in a suit with glasses.” Which sounded awfully familiar to the host, who also happens to be just another white guy in a suit with glasses. When he asked for Johnson’s photo to be brought up again, Colbert was momentarily taken aback: “Am I Mike Johnson?”

Unfortunately, Johnson is not nearly as milquetoast as his name suggests. The Louisiana congressman was a key player in the desperate efforts to overturn the results of the 2020 presidential election in order to keep Donald Trump in power. Following his election as House Speaker, several members of the media attempted to grill Johnson on his record of election-denying, which he casually ignored.

When ABC reporter Rachel Scott asked Johnson about his track record with Trump, and whether he still stands by his attempts to overturn the election results, she was promptly met with a series of boos from the Republicans flanking him (including Rep. Lauren Boebert (R-CO), the aforementioned Beetlejuice stan). A clearly annoyed Rep. Virginia Foxx (R-NC) opted to politely shout, “Shut up! Shut up!”

Johnson, however, was a bit more pragmatic. He responded with a simple: “Next question.”

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Jennifer M. Wood

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