If the Republican party were a horror movie, the call would be coming from inside the House.
Just hours after leading the charge to implode his own party by ushering in Rep. Kevin McCarthy’s (R-CA) ouster, Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-FL) seemed to be reveling in the bedlam he created. But Stephen Colbert was happy to see that the “Florida Republican and Bob’s Big Boy who sells molly in the club bathroom” was in a “reflective mood.”
While speaking to the press on Wednesday, Gaetz laid out his interpretation of what is happening within the GOP at this very moment. “The stages of grief, I think, are in progress right now with some of my colleagues,” said Gaetz—smirky as ever. “I think there was a stage of denial, and I’ve certainly experienced a good amount of their anger. And now we appear to be headed toward bargaining.”
Colbert reflected on those comments Wednesday night: “It is so, so rare to get lectured about grief by the murderer,” he remarked, then offered his impression of what the world must feel like from Gaetz’s POV: “‘There, there. Shhh…. Let it out. It’s healthy to cry. By the way: Do you have a tarp I can roll your corpse up in?’”
Unfortunately, Colbert had to agree with Gaetz that the Florida Man’s “colleagues are definitely GOPeeved.” Case in point: Louisiana congressman Garret Graves, who launched a PG-13 verbal attack on Gaetz from the House floor on Wednesday for using his House Speaker sabotage to fundraise—a move Graves called “disgusting.”
But Colbert won this war of words when he described the current GOP mayhem as a “slide down Chaos Mountain into Insanity River at the bottom of Dumbass Canyon.”